Who I am as a Blogger

Okay, so I haven't been blogging as much as I wish I did; and I rediscovered today how much I wish I was a lot wittier than I am and that this blog really doesn't express who I really am. I have things that go through my head constantly that I'd love to blog about, but then I know that my entire immediate family reads this blog, and who knows if my in-laws do to... I have things I want to vent about, to say, or to just verbally vomit (thank you Bridget Jones!) but my reader database limits that. I don't want to offend someone or hurt their feelings, because I've done this before through this blog, and it was heartbreaking. I want to express what I'm thinking, but I also don't want to hurt those I'm thinking about. I've also grown my google-reader to include some really funny, snotty, and interesting people; many of whom use the word... (shall I use it on my blog too?)... fuck... A LOT! It's not a crude or unintelligent way they use it. They use it when no other word will truly express what they're thinking. I tend to think of myself as an open book, unafraid of what people think, and real. I hate fake people and I refuse to be one. But I also don't feel like I'm being real here. Yes, I say what's annoying be about church and my friends, but that's only a part of who I am. I want to gripe about when my husband is being a dumb-ass (I love you, Michael!), or when my MIL is driving me insane, or when the stress of my family is just getting to be too much. I started a private blog that I use more like a journal, but I only seem to write on it when I'm extremely pissed, which isn't that often or that interesting. I want to be interesting. I want to show my true self and express myself in an honest way. So I just don't know what to do with this blog. Do I stop writing on this one and make a new one that I can write freely on (but then the same problem arises...)? Do I start an anonymous blog and write on that? GAH! I don't know! But I know where my blog currently is and who I currently am are not mixing well... I'll keep you posted.
Oh, and a side note, I just joined twitter... I know, I know, I finally caved... so come follow me and I'll follow you!

The Rant of a Couch-Potato

I'm going through my yearly (maybe bi-monthly) crisis of identity where I start to question who I am, what I'm doing, where I am, where I'm going, who my friends are, who my family is... and it all gets jumbled around in my head and I start to close off and get frustrated with everything and everyone. Everything seems to annoy me, and people suddenly don't seem worth the time and effort.
Yesterday, Michael was playing bass for church and then went straight to a meeting, so I got to sleep in and I spent yesterday morning sitting on my couch watching stupid movies on tv, and didn't even take a shower at noon. And if I hadn't had to run errands and go to my parents' house for dinner, I probably wouldn't have moved much off the couch all day. But nothing seemed motivating. I mean, I didn't even knit while in my stupid-movie-stupor, which is surprising because knitting is something I enjoy doing while watching tv and movies! Especially when I've seen them before and I don't have to pay attention the entire time. I didn't call anyone to hang out with, because then I'd actually have to interact with people. And who to call is another question. The women I could have called were probably at church, which the thought of right now makes my stomach churn, and my other friends don't live close-by.
I guess I'm just feeling down. I went to my sister's event to raise awareness about human trafficking on Saturday through the Not For Sale campaign, so joy for life kinda left me this weekend. It was a bit more intense than I anticipated...
That event showed me, yet again, that I truly desire to live for something bigger than myself, but I don't know what that looks like. Does it mean something overseas, through a NGO, through more schooling to become a counselor of some sort? I DON'T KNOW! And it's killing me! I don't know who I want to be or what I want to live for because there are so many issues out there, and only so little time and money. I want to impact people's lives, but it's distressing to me that I don't know what that looks like for me.
I met with a friend for coffee last week, and she sat there telling me about her new vision for her life was to start a school. I have no desire to associate myself with anything in the education system, but I felt a pang of envy as she spoke about how the dream had become clear to her and she had already gotten the ball rolling by telling people about it and finding people who were interested... I sat there thinking, "I want to start something or be a part of something I'm so sure about and passionate about; if only I knew what that was." I'm excited for my friend, but at the same time, I feel depressed about it.
I wish it were me sitting at that table telling her about my new vision and purpose in life. Because right now, my only purpose is to show up to work (which I don't really enjoy), get a paycheck, and make sure Michael doesn't freak out and burn the church down. I feel like I'm constantly waiting for things to happen, but they don't, or they do but cause more waiting to happen. I waited to graduate, I then waited to get married, then I waited to figure out what the hell I was going to do for a job, then I have to wait to figure out what I really want to do with my life now that I'm making a steady paycheck, and I'm also waiting for Michael to finish school so I can possibly pursue my dream of working at a non-profit. Waiting, waiting, waiting. I want life and my dreams to finally catch up, but they seem stuck in stand-by mode.
My life is bigger than I am. I know that. I feel it deep down. But how I can express that and pursue that... that's the big question.
So thanks for listening to my processing rant. Maybe I'll wake up tomorrow with a clear sense of what the hell I'm doing... or I might just have to keep waiting...

When Life is a Bit Blah

I feel like I should write something since I haven't really written anything in a while. But nothing very interesting is coming to mind. I hate to use this blog as a constant whine-fest about friends and church, but other than those two things, not much else is going on in my life. I go to work 5 days a week, try to squeeze friends somewhere in there, and pack our weekends so full, I need another weekend after my weekend is over.
Michael has started playing rugby, and his first match, game, or whatever you call it, is tomorrow. It should be interesting and I will hopefully get to know the wives of the players and we can make new friends there... hopefully...
Church is church... we enjoyed going to the other location of the church this last Sunday, but I have a feeling that the "sacred" feeling I had on Sunday was a fluke-- more than likely it was just because we were in a new place (my church owns an old, historic Jewish temple-- it's really cool!), not because anything was that different. And it sucks that because Michael works for the church, we/he HAVE to go... I hate being told I have to do something when there's no real rhyme or reason to it. But I digress.
This month is going to be a lot calmer than last month, so I'm looking forward to enjoying more nights like last night where I had absolutely nothing to do! To give you some perspective, last month we had a total of 5 days ALL MONTH that we didn't have something planned... I was constantly exhausted-- we never could sit down to rest because we had something else to do or someone else to see! So this month we only have a few things planned and are trying more than ever to keep at least one day a week open just for the two of us to be together. We'll see how that goes.
Well, that's all for now. I hope to get more inspired later... Have a fabulous weekend!

Yay! A New Place to Live!

We're all moved in! I took Friday off to finish packing and we had a huge group of people come help us move on Saturday into a new apartment across town (thanks everyone!). It's bigger, more spacious, and has more storage... oh, and did I mention it's bigger? It's actually not that much bigger, but when you compare it to the shoebox we were living in, it seems humongous! It's also something we can take pride in, make our own, and really get all we can out of it. The layout is way better, as well as having vaulted ceilings, so it feels a lot more open than it really is.
The weirdest thing, however, is that there are no ceiling lights in the living room or the bedroom... so we have to go buy floor-lamps so we can see when we walk into the dark rooms. I never thought to ask about needing lamps for actual function to see in a room, but I guess you learn something new every time you move!
We're really excited about our new place, and I hope we can have everyone over to see it! If I wasn't so weary of posting pictures of where I live online, I'd post some here. But unfortunately, I have security-issue-problems.
I had the day off yesterday so we were able to get a lot more unpacked and put away, and now all we have left is to put pictures up! I'm so excited for this new phase of life and hopefully we're happy enough where we are that the next time we move will be into a house we will buy... but we'll just have to wait and see.
Praise God for a wonderful new place to live!!

Moving, Yet Again...

Michael and I are moving!! I'm so excited about it! We're moving about 15 minutes east of where we are now to an apartment complex. We've been living in a basement apartment. It gets a bit awkward because the landlord is the neighborhood pastor of our church... who is also Michael's boss. So tensions either about where we live or about his job have that added awkwardness of living underneath his boss/landlord. But we've enjoyed where we've lived but the time has come to move on. We couldn't have afforded anywhere else (besides my parents basement) when we first got married, so the apartment has definitely been a blessing. But we're both working now and can easily afford somewhere a bit bigger and a bit nicer. I think it's amazing that they have the opportunity to help people out by having apartments in their basement that they charge very little rent for (especially compared to what the apartments are worth in that neighborhood). I hope to do the same, some day down the road when we own our own house.
But as older posts have stated: I HATE MOVING! The thought of boxes and tape and labels and wrapping crap in newspaper and bubble-wrap makes my stomach churn and I feel nauseous. It helps that this moving experience isn't moving home to my parents, but to a new place that is nicer and symbolizing a new phase in our lives.
We move on Valentines Day, which I couldn't care less about moving on that "holiday" because I hate Valentines Day (don't get me started about why...). It's a great coincidence that we move in that day because I have a 3-day weekend because of Presidents Day that following Monday.
So we're starting to sort through our things and throw/give things away. The boxes have yet to come out from under the bed, because I just might have a full-blown panic attack at the sight of them... just kidding... no I'm not... I dread packing and moving, but hopefully this will be a positive experience that will overshadow past, traumatic experiences... hopefully...
And let's hope we like this place well enough that we will stay longer than a year and don't have to pack up and move all over again. It's my hope that the next time we move, we'll be moving into a house that we bought. But that's just my hope. Keep your fingers crossed for us!

Needless Tears

I don't know what's wrong with me. I'll be blunt and tell you that I've been incredibly hormonal recently and it's starting to freak me out. How I've seen this is the fact that anything can set off a flood of tears, regardless if it is that big of a deal, or even worth crying over. I first noticed it when my husband told me he had seen the source of one of his Christmas presents by mistake, but wanted to let me know. Instead of just being bummed out, I sobbed. I'm not talking about one little tear-- I laid on the couch and sobbed. I was a mess. But it felt that devastating to me! And then last night I had had a bad day at work, but not bad enough to cry over, but I got home and couldn't stop crying. I even had to miss a dinner I was supposed to go to with Michael because I couldn't get control of it. And let's not forget about how I react to sad parts of movies or tv shows...
So all this to say, I'm a bit freaked out. I usually get a bit irritable during "that time of month," so all this crying is not normal and has lasted for a couple of weeks... What am I supposed to do? Just let the tears overtake me and have a good cry? I know Michael would vote against that because he can't handle me crying, but I don't know what else to do. I hate crying-- it makes me feel depressed (obviously) and I lose all motivation to do anything when I cry. So if something doesn't change soon... well, I don't know what I'm going to do. But thankfully Michael is loving and supportive and just hugs me and lets me cry into his chest. For now, that's the only thing I can do.
I hate crying, I hate not being in control of my emotions! If something is truly worth crying over, that's one thing, but crying over a spoiled Christmas present surprise, that's just ridiculous!

New Direction

I think I figured it out. Because I want a balance, but also don't want to put myself in a box, I'm going to end up writing about whatever I darn well please. So for those of you who read my blog, I'm going to keep it up and just change my tone a bit. I'll write about life, about family, about church, and maybe some random tid-bit here and there. If something spiritual and religious is on my mind, I'll write about that; and if I'm trying to process interacting with my in-laws, I'll write about that... So be patient with me as I venture forth on this new blog journey and hopefully great things will come of it! So stay tuned ;-)

The Case of the Blog Identity Crisis

I'm having an identity crisis. I started this blog because I had so many ideas and thoughts running through my head and I wanted to share them and process them here. I wrote about life, and about church, the Bible, Christians, and theology. But as my life has calmed down a bit more and become a bit more routine, I find that I have less to blog about. This may be because of less material and not being around people who question things and make me think (actually, I'm pretty sure that's a huge part), but it may be that my life has changed and I'm in a different place than I was when I started this blog.
But what do I do? I don't want to solely write about "Christian-y" things, but I also don't want to just write about my life-- I don't do that much that anyone (including myself) would want to read about. The first post would be this: "I sat at work today. I didn't do much. Mark told me he is running checks on Wednesday. I got a free water bottle. Michael picked me up to go to my parents' for dinner. The end."
Do things change when you have children, because you can speak on your child and how you raise them? I thought getting married would create more to talk about with marriage philosophy but I find that I read more about what other people think than I do any personal processing. I know where I stand, so I don't have much to process about. I don't feel conflict about it-- I actually read more and get more emotion evoked by others who are in the more traditional camp. But I don't want this blog to be all about bashing others' views and pointing out why I disagree with others. That just sounds boring. If it's applicable to something in my current situation, I might talk about it, but it definitely can't be my focus. I don't have kids, so that's out of the question. I have a niece, but we don't see her that often, and I also don't think anyone wants to hear about my thoughts on someone else's kid...
So I'm here with no motivation and no clear direction. Has blogging for me come to an end? I know of maybe two or three people who read my blog who aren't related to me (and even the ones related to me aren't avid readers). But is a large audience my focus? Why even blog in the first place?
So I guess this is my explanation as to why my blogs lately have seemed to lack "oomph" and passion... because I don't know what passion I have to give. I will be thinking about this more and maybe even trying out a new way/reason to blog, or just write when something is on my mind. I really don't know. But I know that blogging has led me to "meet" new people, interact with them and get to know them, as well as really process how I'm feeling/thinking about something, or just sharing what's on my heart. So, those of you who do read my blog, bear with me and I will soon figure this all out. (And a big thanks to those who do read and comment-- it really means a lot to me. And if you're a reader and have never commented, please, let me know you're there-- I'd love to get to know you!)
Thanks for the patience!

I Didn't Bite the Dentist

I went to the dentist yesterday and I had flashbacks of my childhood the entire time. As I was sitting there, it became clear to me why certain event happened in my childhood: When I was 7 years-old, I was having a tooth pulled and in the midst of my fear and the dentist not being comfortable with children, I bit his finger when he put it in my mouth. He then started yelling and I started crying-- very traumatic! Well yesterday, while the dental hygienist was scraping my teeth and stabbing my gums, biting (or punching) became a very desirable action. Thankfully I resisted, but I must admit I had to hold back! No wonder people refuse to go to the dentist! It's such a miserable experience! I had heard that they show movies/tv shows while you get your teeth cleaned, but even after mentioning it to the hygienist, she didn't turn it on... grrrr...

"In the Criminal Justice System..."

Life around our neighborhood is an interesting one. I don't sit at home hiding under my bed because I'm afraid someone will break in, but I also am not naive enough to think that my neighborhood is danger-free. Our landlords have had their cars broken into (well, sort of since they leave their doors unlocked), there is graffiti on the wall across the street with gang-tags, and Federal (the street only 4 blocks away) is notorious for shootings and especially during Cinco de Mayo is the place to be (or not, depending on your view).
Well, about a month ago, Michael and I were driving home from the grocery store when all of a sudden, Michael looked over because of a horn honking to see a man kneeing a woman in the face inside her car. He whipped the car around and drove into a parking space and ran out of the car with his cell phone in hand, dialing 911. The woman (by yelling "help me!" and honking the horn) had managed to draw a crowd and got the police there. The man fled when he saw Michael walk up, but since the man was quite large (as in weight) he didn't get very far before the police caught up with him and apprehended him. The woman was okay, well at least physically, for the most part. She was still conscious and gave the police her statement. Michael and another man gave their statement of what they had witnessed.
I tell this story because as I write this, Michael is at the courthouse to testify! I have to admit, I'm a bit envious because it's like Law and Order come to life! But since I didn't ever actually see anything happen (I just heard the horn honking), I didn't give my statement or be asked to come testify.
It's scary because this guy is gutsy enough to beat up his girlfriend in public. I doubt anything would happen to Michael; I've watched way too many crime shows to not be skeptical. But hopefully the testimony from Michael and the other witness will put the man away for a while where he can't beat up women (and who knows about any children he may have). By getting him out of the house and off of the streets, the woman/women in his life can breathe a little easier. There is no excuse for behavior like that and I am proud of Michael for going to take a stand against a man who clearly does not respect women and deserves to pay the consequences.

**Update: Just as I was finishing this post, Michael called and informed me that the defendant didn't have any legal representation (couldn't afford it) so the trial has been moved to December. The man is blaming the woman for wanting to ruin his life, and that he does have children. (That worries me a lot that he has children who he may take his anger/frustration out on). I hope this gets resolved quickly [except that December is not quick], and the women in his life don't have to be afraid of him any more. Pray for them if you think of it... Thanks!

I'm an Aunt!

I can't believe I forgot to announce this: I'm an aunt! Michael's sister had a baby girl on Thursday morning at 2:45am. Her name is Elizabeth Marie Turentine (I'm actually not 100% of the spelling of the last name)-- Michael and I made a nickname for her about a day after we found out it was a girl-- so we lovingly call her Izzy.
I got to see her for the first time on Sunday and she was beautiful! She's on the smaller side, only 6 lbs 2 oz, but I feel like we're kindred spirits because I was only 5 lbs and a few ounces when I was born and I was full term and healthy!
Michael and I labeled Izzy our guinea pig for dealing with children, and holding her on Sunday (for about an hour straight while she refused to wake up and interact with me... she's already proving to be a bit stubborn) definitely gave me a small baby bug... but only a small one. But if she was crying and fussy the whole time, I would probably have a different reaction.
But we're excited for the miracle that Izzy is. April, Michael's sister, shouldn't have even been able to get pregnant due to many medical issues; but she did get pregnant and created a beautiful life! Welcome to the world, Elisabeth "Izzy" Marie!!

The "Supposed To's" of Marriage and God

How much of a role does God really play in relationships? I have been rolling this thought over in my mind, trying to really process it and understand it. All during my high school years, I was taught "God needs to be the center of your relationship" but that idea was never really explained to me. What does that really mean? What does that look like? I tried all kinds of things, going to the same church, praying together, discussing the Bible, etc. But each individual act never seemed like enough. Just because we prayed together didn't mean God was the true center of our relationship.
However, I say all this, and I could say that (on a good day) God is the center of my marriage. We focus on God's will for us individually and as a couple, as well as (try to) pray together and read the Bible together.
Lately, though, those practices seem to have fallen by the wayside. We're busy, we're tired, we'd rather do something else... the excuses seem to pile up and God gets forgotten. But then so does the health and spiritual well-being of our marriage. I can see it change how we interact with one another and other people, as well as how we view our marriage one day to the next. There seems to be an absence, a void and negativity are present. We fight more, we overreact, we get defensive... makes for a lousy time, that's for sure.
But what does reading the Bible do? Could we still feel a deeper connection if we read a novel together? What is that spiritual aspect that is so important? We are busy people, and we make the time to spend with friends, work, church, etc., but not for reading the Bible together, or praying or doing any sort of devotional or study. How do we balance that, especially when Michael doesn't get home until 10pm and we're both too tired? Are we "supposed" to pray even though the act of closing our eyes to pray would make us fall asleep? Or are we "supposed" to get up early together to do something, with the same problem of falling asleep? How do busy people do it? Or are we "supposed" to set aside the time that we aren't working and are together, and spend a few minutes reading the Bible, praying, etc. But when Michael is working 4-5 nights a week, it gets difficult to even find the time to do that. But if something is a priority, we'll make it happen. So we'll see what we figure out!
God values relationships, so it makes sense that by taking the time to value our relationship with Him, He'll bless us and make our relationship a bit easier/closer. I know that praying and reading your Bible isn't the miracle cure to marriage hardships, but by growing closer together through reading the Bible sure puts you on the right path for it. When our relationship becomes nothing but fighting and resentment, something definitely needs to change. So here's to change and trying to refocus our relationship back on the one who brought us together. It wont be easy, but it will be good!

Why Oh Why Did the DNC Have to be Here?

I'm already sick and tired of the Democratic National Convention (DNC). I wouldn't mind at all if I didn't
1) work downtown
2) live right off of Speer Blvd.
3) people didn't treat the DNC and the protesters like the end of the world (ie riots, teargas, people throwing mailboxes into cars [no joke, they removed all drop-boxes from the street because of the fear that people would pick them up and throw them... come on, people!])
It's already crazy! Michael and I missed church yesterday because of traffic issues caused by the streets closing down! We sat at the same light for 15 minutes watching cars drive into the middle of the intersection (even though they could see traffic wasn't going anywhere), and people making U-turns to go south on Speer... Oh, and did I mention the next light was broken and not turning green? Oh yeah, that was loads of fun. And all the roads being turned into one lane? That was fun too! By the time we would have made it though both intersections, we would have gotten to church halfway through the sermon! Michael was yelling at all the people on the sidewalk and the other cars "GO HOME!" I feel the exact same way!
It was Sunday, nothing was even really going on, and people are already acting like idiots and there were people already arrested last night... ugh! And I have to be downtown to work. We have the option to go home at noon and work from home, but I have the issue of the fact that my whole job is to be AT WORK! I can't answer the phones from home! I can't transfer calls from my cell phone! I'm stuck here till my boss says I can go home (that is, if everyone else goes home... please! everyone go home so I can too!!!) That didn't sound too desperate, did it? Well, it'll give me a lot of time to... uh... read/write blogs and mess around doing nothing... hopefully someone finds something for me to do-- not likely, but possible!
Be thankful if you are not in Denver, Colorado this week! Watch the coverage from your living room, away from the chaos and overreactions! This madness needs to end!
[Oh, and I have to just state my feelings about the protesters-- they're really dumb! No one even knows why they're here or what they're protesting for! I do know that there is a group protesting for peace, even though Democrats tend to be anti-war... I just don't get some people...]

My Husband is Gonna Be a House-Husband

I have finally run into the differences between marriages with my friends. I didn't have much ground being "only engaged" or "just dating" when it came to understanding the complexity and the deep issues that really can only be experienced in marriage. It has been interesting talking with our friends at church and in our small group about the differences in our marriages-- how decisions are made, who handles housework, etc. It's no surprise that Michael and I are nowhere near the majority-- I actually question if there is anyone like us in the young marrieds group, even at a church like Pathways. We hear people talk about their marriages, and why and how decisions are made and we sit back thinking "we would never do it that way! What about the other person's feelings/opinions/desires?"
Of course, we're only 2 months into this marriage, so maybe after a bit more time we might fall more into the traditional norm, but it doesn't seem likely. I'm sure it helps that I hate cleaning and doing housework, so I refuse to do it all by myself; and Michael doesn't expect me to, just because I'm a woman. He actually cares more about clutter and a clean house than I do (except I'm starting to lean more his way because our house isn't big enough to be dirty-- it takes over in no time!) so he is more apt to do the cleaning.
I don't know if I've mentioned it before in here, but I love to cook. With that, it would probably be expected that I cook all the meals. Well, I married a keeper because Michael loves to cook as well and loves to learn. I've taught him stuff, and he enjoys cooking dinner just as much as I do. He currently is working at the print shop he was at a few months ago to get some money before he starts school. He gets off work earlier than me, and gets home way before. I came home last week on my third day of work to him making dinner. (I might also mention he was wearing nothing but one of my aprons... he makes me laugh so hard!)
We trade off, even share the duties when we both get off work at the same time. When Michael starts school, he will get off at 12:30 so if he can't get a part-time job-- either he can't find one or school is too stressful, he'll be a house-husband. And he's totally okay with that. He's actually looking forward to it! His advisers told him that the first 7 months are the hardest, so it's looking like a house-husband is what he's going to be! It'll be an interesting adjustment and a very big reality check since what we're about to do is not very common, especially in Christian circles. But that's what is also exciting-- we're embarking on a journey of our own without anyone putting their own ideas or thoughts on us; we can choose what we want and can succeed and fail in our own right. We're excited and completely freaked out at the same time, but it's good-- that's how we grow as individuals and as a couple. We have to turn towards each other during this time to get through the rough parts and praise the good parts. So here's to living differently! Let's see how this goes!

Walking to Work

It's rain/snowing here (so I guess you could say it's snaining...) and being inside is great! However, I would much rather be at home in bed, watching a movie than being at work when it's this kind of weather. I walk to work every morning which is wonderful (not only for the exercise and the sights, but it saves a bundle on gas)! This morning, however, was a bit on the dreary, unmotivating side.
When I walk to work, I walk over what is called "The Pedestrian Bridge." A clever name since that is exacly what it is. It's a bridge over highway I-25 that makes it super-easy to walk to downtown. The path eventually crosses over a river, which is absolutely gorgeous! The plants around it this morning, being so wet and green, were breathtaking! Unfortunately, because of the cold and the rain, there weren't as many people to gawk at... and since it's still gonna be cold at lunch time, I won't be able to eat my sandwich and people watch during my lunch break either. And let me tell you, people-watching on 16th Street Mall is probably my new favorite past-time! There are so many different and unique people who walk around out there! So besides being able to sit outside to eat when it's nice out, I also get to answer the question, "who will I see today?"

"This is Kate. How May I Help You?"

You'll never guess where I am... I'm at my new job!!!!!!!!!!!! I finally, after 5 months of looking, sending out resumes and cover letters, and having to take a job at Barnes and Noble to make a little money, I have a full-time job; real, 8-5, real-world job!! I am an administrative assistant at an oil and gas drilling company that drills all over the place. Yes, I know my degree is in human development and family studies, but the jobs that go along with that aren't hiring and don't pay diddly-squat! Eventually when Michael finishes his degree (oh, by the way, he's going back to school in 2 weeks!!!) and makes a lot of money, I can persue something more along the lines of what my degree and interests are in.
But for now I'm surrounded by maps of things I have no clue what they represent or where the hell they even are. A very nice co-worker of mine sat me down and explained a little bit of what they do and what the different symbols and terminology means. Even still... now I can look at the maps and say "that one I think maybe might mean it's a working oil well." Where the maps are showing, I'm still clueless. I'm sure I'll learn more, since this is only my second day. So if you need an excuse to celebrate (since Cinco de Mayo is over [side note, I live right by Federal Blvd, a street notorious for being absolutely insane for cinco de mayo, and I'm happy to say there were no issues around our house! Yay!]), celebrate new jobs and new beginnings! Anyone else celebrating new beginnings? I'm totally willing to celebrate on behalf of you too! Share away!

Married Life

Hello blogging world. I am no longer writing as Katie McKay, but as Katie Bennett. The wedding went beautifully! It was so moving and went off without a hitch. I'll get the pics soon, and post a few of the best on here! It's still really weird thinking of myself as married, not just dating or engaged. The apartment we're in is my house, not my parents', not my temporary college living situation, but my house with my things and my husband and our life! Crazy! It took us a while to figure out where to put everything we got, but we got it figured out and it looks like a livable house! We've been married for a week and 3 days and it's already been an adventure. It's great to have friends who have known us as engaged and then are there for us as we are embarking on our married journey. We can lean on them for support and encouragement and insight, as well as we can finally really understand and help them when they need it. Michael and I have tried to learn healthy things to do in our relationship, and are excited to pass those ideas along, even to our friends who have been married for almost 6 years. I'm so excited about our friends who we have made and the great relationships we will continue to develop over the coming months and years. I know marriage won't always be easy, but having a great support system makes the whole thing a lot more bearable.

Cinco Dias!

It's only 5 days to the wedding and I finally got my vows written. WHEW! It was a huge deal for me-- I wanted them to be perfect and to express exactly how I feel... It was not an easy feat. But I got it done and they turned out remarkably well! (Let me just say, there are a lot of cheesy and stupid vow examples out there on the internet...) Anyway, now that that's done, I just have to clean my room, pack the rest of my things, and finish helping around the house. Oh, and throw in a few shifts at work. I'm going to be quite busy this week, but I'm excited for it all. It's all finally happening and falling into place. I wish tomorrow were Saturday!
I was having a conversation with my mom earlier about marriage advice-- which was all very helpful and obviously spoken from experience. It's been interesting talking to people who Michael and I are friends with who are married and hear what they were told right before they got married. Marriage is a journey and an experience unlike anything else Michael and I have ever done. We can take what we've witnessed, heard about, and started to experience, and take those things to try to understand marriage-- but it's still going to be completely different than we could ever imagine! I hope we're not going to be taken off guard too much, but I think that's inevitable.
So those of you who actually read my blog, please pray for us as we embark on this adventure. It's not always going to be fun or easy, but I know it's going to be wonderful! We're going to grow together as a couple and as individuals. It's going to be awesome!

Sex Isn't Why I'm Getting Married

I'd like to announce that it is only 10 days till the wedding and Michael and I are married! We went yesterday to the county court house to pick up our marriage license. Did you know it only costs $10 to get married? If we didn't want a ceremony or any sort of celebration, then we could get married for just $10... interesting.
We met with our officiant the other day to go over our final plan for the ceremony. During it, we discussed what we thought marriage was and what it meant to us. It was interesting to me because afterwards I realized that in all the discussion, sex was never even alluded to; and yet, that is the focus of the biggest celebrations around marriage. Our definition and idea of marriage was about love, connection, the joining of two lives, a continuation of a journey, the beginning of a new adventure... the list went on and on. Nowhere was sex even talked about as a reason we were getting married or why we were excited to be married (although that is very exciting, don't get me wrong). But sex is not the reason we're getting married. We want to join our lives together and experience life and the ups and downs of it together forever. We just happen to be able to have sex. I want sex to express our love and devotion to to each other, to bring a deeper level of intimacy to our relationship. I don't want it to define us, but to be the expression of us. That we are committed and we love each other with our whole being-- that's what sex is to us.
I had my bachelorette party this last weekend, which was nothing but sex jokes and lingerie. The focus was not, even at the bridal shower, about what marriage is and the realities of it. I guess it's easier to focus on the fun and exciting sides. Thankfully, we've made friends with other married couples who consistently and honestly show us the realities of marriage. I also have had conversations with my mom about it, as well as growing up in a household where my parents were in marriage counseling for at least 15 years. They are good now, but not after years of hard, challenging struggle.
I'm trying not to wear too-tinted of rose shaded glasses, but I guess that I'll really just have to learn once I'm in it! I can't wait to be married, and I am also terrified. Who knows what it will really be like? But I have complete faith in God that he has brought me and Michael together and we can get through any hardships that come our way. It may not be done quickly or easily, but we will get through them together. I can't wait for that part of our lives to begin! (I'm just not looking forward to the stress and chaos that out-of-town relatives will bring to my parents for the wedding)

The World's Most Effective Birth Control

I'm watching my cousin's children-- a 4 year-old girl and 18 month-old boy-- for 2 days. They were whiny and crabby and easy to get upset and frustrated... actually it was just the 4 year-old. Let me just say that after only a few hours, I was contemplating never ever ever having children! Once children get old enough to talk and get an attitude, they're not so cute and fun any more. But thankfully they're much better this morning after they've slept well. So I'd like to report that watching little kids for more than an hour (and sometimes less) is the most effective birth control out there! (My parents will be glad to hear that grandchildren are not in the near future).