If Only She'd Take My Advice

**Removed because, well, you never know when someone will happen across your blog...**

Who wants to be doormat... Anyone? Anyone?

So I'm writing this blog because I've discovered another of my least favorite words. Some people have favorite words, like... um... I don't know cuz I don't have favorite words (well, besides the words, "ice" and "cream" and "chocolate," of course!). However, I do have some least favorite words-- either because of their meaning, connotations, and sometimes just how the word sounds.
Here's how I discovered what the word was:
I'm in a Bible study with the on-campus ministry called Navigators (Navs for short). They tend to lean on the very conservative side of the spectrum and as you can already guess, it's caused a few issues for me. I've become more and more liberal in my thinking over the last year or so. As a result, I've come to disagree a lot with some of my closest friends on theoretical issues. We still love each other dearly, but we disagree about almost everything concerning the Bible and theology. It makes for interesting discussions, that's for sure-- all respectful discussions and debates-- no yelling matches yet...
Anyway, back to what I was talking about. We're doing a Bible study called, "Becoming a Woman of Excellence." I was very hesitant about it cuz in my experience, books on how to be a Godly woman never turns out well for me, but I gave this one a try. It's definitely not the best study I've done but it wasn't too bad... until I got to chapter 8: "Made Precious by a Quiet and Gentle Spirit." Let's just say I was already pissed off before I even started the chapter. But, because I was interested in what the author would say, and also cuz it's the chapter for the week, I did it. Every question was answered first with a "I don't know! This is dumb! I hate this! F*** this!" Needless to say, I was not doing the study with a quiet, and definitely not gentle, spirit.
What the word is:
It was through this study, however, that I discovered my new least favorite word. Are you ready for it? The word is: meek. UGH! I just typing that word puts a bad taste in my mouth. So for the study we had to look up a bunch of words (gentle, quiet, meek, calm--there's no agenda there!), which are fine on their own, but when put in this context made me furious! The connotations and message that was being told through those definitions were totally overbearing and degrading to women. It was all about "submit! submit! submit!" Why is that always the focus? Anyway, I looked up the definition of meek, cuz at first, I didn't really know the true definition of it. All I can picture when I hear that word is a woman with her hands palm-to-palm in front of her chest with a robotic smile on her face.
So here's the definition from dictionary.com:
meek /mik/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[meek] Pronunciation Key
–adjective, -er, -est.

1.	humbly patient or docile, as under provocation (something that incites, instigates, angers, or irritates... I'm not very good in the vocab arena!) from others.

2.	overly submissive or compliant; spiritless; tame.

3.	Obsolete (no longer in general use; effaced by wearing down or away). gentle; kind.

No wonder I didn't like that word! overly submissive? Spiritless? Tame? Obsolete?? BLECK! It just makes me so angry!!! I understand that a woman, or a man for that matter, should be respectful and loving towards people and not aggressive or violent in how they interact, but really, is that how to teach people to not do so? I know that is the idea that they are trying to convey, but that is not what the definition says! By telling women to be meek they are telling them to be compliant, not care about anything, easily manipulated, overworked, and unappreciated. Sounds like so much fun! I can't wait to become a meek woman! Jesus, make me meek! (If you can't catch the sarcasm, I'm telling you now!) I know I'm taking a pretty liberal stance on this issue, because talking to my conservative roommate about the chapter, she kept using my least-favorite word over and over again as something women should be. (I was grinding my teeth the whole time she was talking!)
Why do women need to be meek? Being gentle and not too aggressive is a good trait. But meek? Why choose that word? At the prompting from my much more gracious and understanding sister, I looked up meek in the Strong's Bible dictionary... here's the definitions it gave (any italicized words were that way in the dictionary-- I'm not trying to make a point with it!):

- depressed, in mind (gentle) or circumstances (needy, espec. saintly):-- humble, lowly, meek, poor, afflicted
- gentle, humble:--meek, mild

Well, that didn't help. But there was more emphasis on being humble and gentle, which I can understand more. But they all still involved the word meek... I don't know what to think. I'm just frustrated I guess. I never like people, the "church" especially, telling me what to do, what to wear, how to act, etc. It just makes me want to rip off my clothes, run around the sanctuary in the middle of a church service, and start cussing... it'd definitely make a few people uncomfortable! Thankfully I go to a church where clothing is optional... juuuust kidding! I'm done with my rant. I'm glad I could get that off my chest (and keep my shirt on)!

Fecal Reading and Bible-Dipping

"Finch's face reddened as his excitement grew. 'See? See the way the top of the coil breaks up out of the surface of the water? Holy Father!... Do you know what this means?...It means our financial situation is turning around, that's what it means. It means things are looking up. The shit is pointing out of the pot and up toward heaven, to God.'"
-- Augusten Burroughs, Running With Scissors, pg. 166-167

When reading the book, “Running with Scissors,” (which is a memoir, by the way—which means everything in the book actually happened!) the only thing you can say about it is that the people in it are absolutely insane. Not just weird and kinda crazy at times—they are completely, 100% insane. They eat dog food as a snack, let 13 and 14 year old children have relationships with 30 and 40 year old adults, eat candy off a 5 month old Christmas tree, and last but not least, believe God talks to them through their feces. This blog isn’t a review of the book. This is a commentary of the “insane” practices of Dr. Finch and his family.

While most of us don’t try to interpret the size, shape, and color of our feces, we do tend to use “insane,” surface-level, self-made ways of having God speak to us. For example, a much less insane instance in the story, one that could actually be part of people’s Bible-reading lives is this: Bible-dipping. The family in the story open their Bible and point to a random word to make their decisions or figure out what God is telling them about their lives.

"All the Finches did bible-dips. It was like asking a Magic Eight Ball a question, only you were asking God. The way it worked was, one person held the bible while another person thought of a question to ask God, like, 'Should I get my hair cut short?' Then the person holding the bible opened it at random, and the person asking the question dropped his or her finger on the page. Whatever word your finger landed on, this was your answer...In Thorne's Market Hope couldn't decide between a tuna or a turkey sandwich so, even though there was a line behind her, she pulled out her white bible. She did the dip herself, because she was in a hurry. 'Harvest,' she said...'Aren't turkeys grain fed? They are, I think. So that's pretty close to harvest... I'll take turkey. But on multigrain just to make sure.'"
-- Pg. 76-78

While all of the other practices of the Finch family would never be done by any normal or even slightly crazy person, Bible-dipping is actually a pretty common occurrence. I can admit that I’ve done something quite similar, by just randomly opening my Bible and reading whatever verse comes up first. I have to admit, God has talked to me by doing that, but I can count the number of times on one hand. However, it got me thinking about how small we make God. We make him manageable and simple—just open the Bible and He will talk to you. I believe the Bible is 100% true and God can speak through any verse at any time for any person, however, that is not usually the way He communicates. It also takes the work for the answers from God and gives it to ourselves. We are trying to find the answers on our own time with our own energy and random practices. It doesn't allow God to move in our lives as He pleases and with his perfect timing. It becomes all about us and fulfilling our own desires, not letting God fulfill us.

Another idea that is dealt with in the Bible-dipping is how far it’s taken. God should be the center of our lives and we should seek his guidance in everything. However, unlike the girl, Hope, who Bible-dips to decide what kind of sandwich to order, there is a point to where our free will comes into play.

God has given us free will. We can make decisions on our own, whether from personal taste/ character, or from past experience. Ordering a turkey sandwich instead of a tuna sandwich will not change your life. If you prefer turkey, order that—God has given that to you to enjoy. There is not a more “holy” meat or meal, and all food is good because God made all food. God has given it to us to enjoy. We have free will to choose what we like and dislike. If we have our lives completely consumed and focused on God, our actions will reflect the will of God. Our personal tastes, however, will not go away. God loves us and wants us to enjoy life. He didn’t create us to be robots, walking around unhappy and bored. He wants us to enjoy life, live it to the fullest. Enjoy and love the people around us. Love those who Jesus loves. Follow God wherever He leads. Don’t Bible-dip to find the answers—talk right to God and He will answer (in his own time, of course). And definitely don’t be examining your toilet for answers. God is big enough that He will answer you and you won’t have to search in your household appliances for the answers. We just have to be willing to receive the answer and do what He says. Our lives wont ever be boring or mundane if we walk in the will of God. God is crazy and chaotic and adventurous—it’s when we’re not walking in His will that life gets boring and purposeless. Sitting and listening to our incomprehensible maker is the only way to live!

Oh, and on another note, I highly recommend this book! It's definitely full of dark, twisted humor, but is incredibly interesting! If you like stories about crazy people, this book is definitely for you!