"All By Myself"

Pathways, my church, has started a series titled "Friends with Benefits." No, it's not about that... It's about the benefits that friendships and relationships bring to someone and how absolutely essential they are to someone's life and well-being.
This week's topic was loneliness. I can honestly I have experienced my fair share of loneliness because of a lack of friends. I have spent my entire life having friends for a period of time, and then for one reason or another, I end up back at square one. And continuing to experience that feeling makes each time that much lonelier than the last.
It's been difficult for me over these last few months because, well, Michael and I got married and moved to a new area. We know our landlords (the woman married us), but that's about it. We've made friends at our church through the young marrieds group, but those friendships are struggling. There are numerous, complicated reasons for different people acting and reacting the way they do and why Michael and I end up as the initiators with every friendship we find ourselves in. How do people not end up calling one another? How does it fall on certain people? Are the only friendships worth pursuing and growing the ones that show mutual interest and initiation? Do people just "click"? Is that the only way you know that they'll be good/healthy friendships? And how quickly do you delve into a friendship? Can you just create it overnight or does it have to take a lot of time to really get to know them and to know what kind of people/person they really are? Because if you click, wouldn't you assume that you'd be good friends? Or is that too shallow of a point of view of it?
These thoughts have been running through my head since Sunday and really bugs me that the topic of loneliness struck me so deep to the core. Honestly, it wasn't that great of a sermon and didn't really teach me anything new, but it did stir up those emotions to get me motivated to do something about it-- call a friend to get together for lunch, attend the knitting club, plan a get-together with a different friend/acquaintance. But as a side note, it just really bugs me that the purpose of the young marrieds group was to make friends, but no one seems to have the time or motivation to do so... irritating. Anyway, I have been praying a lot about this and keep hoping that God will bring the right people into Michael's and my life. To find friends like my parents have-- they've had the same friends since about the time I was born (I'm 22). Where are these kinds of people? How do you find them?
Well, we'll see how life goes. I attended a knitting club last night and it was a fun time! A very diverse group of women, but very interesting and lively conversation! So we'll see what comes from that! And continuing to invest in the friendships I already have and try to strengthen and grow those friendships. What an exhausting feat!

Sex Sells Coffee... And It Makes Me Sick!

During my brief moments of down-time during my job, I have been able to get through my blog reader daily! It's quite an accomplishment! With that, I have been able to sit and actually read a bunch of the blogs that I subscribe to rather than just mark them all as read because I don't have time to read all 153 of them (this is after days or weeks of not reading any blogs).
All that to say, I have found a blog post that made me want to fly to Washington state and burn down a couple buildings. It then linked to a newspaper article that explained more about the issue that was extremely helpful in understanding both sides-- why the coffee shops do it, and the response of those who disagree.
The topic: there have been more and more coffee shops that have started employing young girls/women to work as baristas wearing bikinis... even just writing that makes my up-chuck reflexes activate. Some coffee shops that have seen their sales go down have jumped on the bandwagon (no pun intended) and exploited their female employees to the same discrimination. The sickest thing I read was one owner, "Wheeler, who said he employs his own 17-year-old daughter at a stand, doesn't understand what the fuss is about." I'm sorry, that's your teenage daughter that you're teaching to exploit her body to make a few extra bucks making coffee. What kind of impact is that going to make on her later in life? The article compared the business model to that of Hooters. Well, since they do it, I guess it's okay.
Just like many people who object to the business practices, I wondered how what they are wearing, or not wearing, can be legal or sanitary. Well, here's what the article said:

Gainza got a jolt a few weeks ago while stuck in traffic on Highway 99. She spotted a barista with bright blue stickers strategically placed on her chest standing at a stand's drive-up window.

As long as genitals and nipples are covered, police say the stands do not violate indecent exposure laws. Health officials and state Labor and Industries officials say there are no clothing requirements for baristas.

No clothing requirements for baristas? That seems like a huge loop-hole, doesn't it? That rule, or lack thereof, seems to be asking for this kind of thing to happen.
The other thing that breaks my heart even more, is that there are enough girls out there who are willing to exploit their bodies, and think nothing of it. How could they truly have good self-esteem and a good self image if they are subjecting themselves to the perverts who come through the shop? In the article, it said that at other coffee shops, they "saw our male clientele dwindle to next to nothing." So I'm assuming women aren't flocking to a titti-bar to get a cup of coffee. My heart goes out to the girls who work there and really resent their owners/managers. One manager said

Carrie Smith, owner of the Mocha Boat in Lynnwood, said she switched themes six months ago after a competing stand hired young women to stand on the corner with pasties and tight shorts.

Business tripled after her employees started wearing more revealing outfits, she said.

"We had to close the stand or roll with it," Smith said. "I sold my soul for a dollar."

They are furthering the exploitation and objectification of women instead of taking a stand against it, saying "I love myself and my employees too much to allow myself and them to be objectified like that." Instead, girls/employees are saying

"I don't really consider this too sexual," Bustare said. "I think it's fun and cute."

"Fun and cute" is how things like this continue to happen. It's not shown for what it is-- soft porn and exploiting yourself just to make money. Outside that coffee shop, your occupation would be labeled as something else.
GRR! This article made me so upset, as I'm sure you can tell. Porn makes my stomach turn, using sex to sell makes me feel ill, and women willingly allowing others to objectify me makes me absolutely furious! We need to be loving our girls and our women! We need to be telling them that their image and their bodies are their own and that God made them to be beautiful, not to be exploited for money and to be "cute." Men and women, but especially men, need to stand up to their fellow men and tell them what they are doing is wrong and hurtful to the women's souls, whether they realize it or not. The men tipping enough that baristas are going home with $100 cash a day are telling the girls that they are only as good as the amount of skin they'll show. Heartbreaking, absolutely heartbreaking!
Pray for these girls and for the men who are encouraging this kind of business to flourish. Hooters started out small and now are a well-known name around the country. This idea could spread, and that is unacceptable to me. We need to nip this in the bud. This cannot be an acceptable way to conduct business, let alone an acceptable way to treat and exploit your female employees.
Whew! I feel better now that I got all of that off my chest. I hope this angers enough people that something is done because of it. It's good that people get enraged, but it's doing something that matters. I doubt anyone from Washington reads my blogs, but if you do, I encourage you to empower your friends and family against this kind of behavior and support those coffee shops that are not lowering themselves to these kinds of practices. Take a stand against those coffee shops!

It's Embarassing to Call Myself a Christian...

...when there are guys like this running around under the label "Christian":

http://www.epicurious.com/articlesguides/blogs/editor/2008/05/starbucks-drink.html?mbid=rss_epilog

This Isn't an Episode of the Office

I first started writing this to my hubby to keep myself and him entertained. There are a lot of random thoughts that come up during the day so I thought I'd share a few with you. Enjoy!

-- Engineers are antisocial
-- There's a guy who's last name makes me think of tater-tots! ;-)
-- I eat a lot of chocolate sitting at my desk
-- I don't know what receptionists did to keep themselves busy before the internet was invented
-- A few people I work with look like famous people-- it's my mission to figure out who they look like!
-- I need an umbrella
-- I have a coworker who smells like my old piano teacher-- cigarettes and peppermints
-- Whoever invented a top-feeder for copy machines is one of my favorite people in the world... and the fact that I feel that way worries me a bit
-- Engineers tend to mumble
-- Online radio is my new favorite thing
-- I work with people with a LOT more money than I do
-- Why do I think sitting at my desk without my shoes on such a big dea?
-- I get motion sick/wibbly-wobbly riding the elevators
-- My college degree is completely worthless
-- I get extremely intimidated by the people in charge, no matter how nice they are
-- I'm wish where I worked was a little more like "The Office" (I guess that would make me Pam)
-- I need new shoes
-- I'm wasting my time writing this because I finished all my other projects...

Don't Forget Your Seatbelt

This is the kind of thing that I find when there's nothing to do at work except look up news information. This story just makes me shake my head and laugh.

Driver buckles beer in car -- but not child

DARWIN, Australia (AP) -- An Australian driver who secured a carton of beer in his car with a seat belt but left a 5-year-old child unrestrained was fined 750 Australian dollars ($710; €460), police said Tuesday.

Read the rest here:
http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/asiapcf/05/13/australia.driver.ap/index.html?imw=Y

My Husband is Gonna Be a House-Husband

I have finally run into the differences between marriages with my friends. I didn't have much ground being "only engaged" or "just dating" when it came to understanding the complexity and the deep issues that really can only be experienced in marriage. It has been interesting talking with our friends at church and in our small group about the differences in our marriages-- how decisions are made, who handles housework, etc. It's no surprise that Michael and I are nowhere near the majority-- I actually question if there is anyone like us in the young marrieds group, even at a church like Pathways. We hear people talk about their marriages, and why and how decisions are made and we sit back thinking "we would never do it that way! What about the other person's feelings/opinions/desires?"
Of course, we're only 2 months into this marriage, so maybe after a bit more time we might fall more into the traditional norm, but it doesn't seem likely. I'm sure it helps that I hate cleaning and doing housework, so I refuse to do it all by myself; and Michael doesn't expect me to, just because I'm a woman. He actually cares more about clutter and a clean house than I do (except I'm starting to lean more his way because our house isn't big enough to be dirty-- it takes over in no time!) so he is more apt to do the cleaning.
I don't know if I've mentioned it before in here, but I love to cook. With that, it would probably be expected that I cook all the meals. Well, I married a keeper because Michael loves to cook as well and loves to learn. I've taught him stuff, and he enjoys cooking dinner just as much as I do. He currently is working at the print shop he was at a few months ago to get some money before he starts school. He gets off work earlier than me, and gets home way before. I came home last week on my third day of work to him making dinner. (I might also mention he was wearing nothing but one of my aprons... he makes me laugh so hard!)
We trade off, even share the duties when we both get off work at the same time. When Michael starts school, he will get off at 12:30 so if he can't get a part-time job-- either he can't find one or school is too stressful, he'll be a house-husband. And he's totally okay with that. He's actually looking forward to it! His advisers told him that the first 7 months are the hardest, so it's looking like a house-husband is what he's going to be! It'll be an interesting adjustment and a very big reality check since what we're about to do is not very common, especially in Christian circles. But that's what is also exciting-- we're embarking on a journey of our own without anyone putting their own ideas or thoughts on us; we can choose what we want and can succeed and fail in our own right. We're excited and completely freaked out at the same time, but it's good-- that's how we grow as individuals and as a couple. We have to turn towards each other during this time to get through the rough parts and praise the good parts. So here's to living differently! Let's see how this goes!

Walking to Work

It's rain/snowing here (so I guess you could say it's snaining...) and being inside is great! However, I would much rather be at home in bed, watching a movie than being at work when it's this kind of weather. I walk to work every morning which is wonderful (not only for the exercise and the sights, but it saves a bundle on gas)! This morning, however, was a bit on the dreary, unmotivating side.
When I walk to work, I walk over what is called "The Pedestrian Bridge." A clever name since that is exacly what it is. It's a bridge over highway I-25 that makes it super-easy to walk to downtown. The path eventually crosses over a river, which is absolutely gorgeous! The plants around it this morning, being so wet and green, were breathtaking! Unfortunately, because of the cold and the rain, there weren't as many people to gawk at... and since it's still gonna be cold at lunch time, I won't be able to eat my sandwich and people watch during my lunch break either. And let me tell you, people-watching on 16th Street Mall is probably my new favorite past-time! There are so many different and unique people who walk around out there! So besides being able to sit outside to eat when it's nice out, I also get to answer the question, "who will I see today?"

"This is Kate. How May I Help You?"

You'll never guess where I am... I'm at my new job!!!!!!!!!!!! I finally, after 5 months of looking, sending out resumes and cover letters, and having to take a job at Barnes and Noble to make a little money, I have a full-time job; real, 8-5, real-world job!! I am an administrative assistant at an oil and gas drilling company that drills all over the place. Yes, I know my degree is in human development and family studies, but the jobs that go along with that aren't hiring and don't pay diddly-squat! Eventually when Michael finishes his degree (oh, by the way, he's going back to school in 2 weeks!!!) and makes a lot of money, I can persue something more along the lines of what my degree and interests are in.
But for now I'm surrounded by maps of things I have no clue what they represent or where the hell they even are. A very nice co-worker of mine sat me down and explained a little bit of what they do and what the different symbols and terminology means. Even still... now I can look at the maps and say "that one I think maybe might mean it's a working oil well." Where the maps are showing, I'm still clueless. I'm sure I'll learn more, since this is only my second day. So if you need an excuse to celebrate (since Cinco de Mayo is over [side note, I live right by Federal Blvd, a street notorious for being absolutely insane for cinco de mayo, and I'm happy to say there were no issues around our house! Yay!]), celebrate new jobs and new beginnings! Anyone else celebrating new beginnings? I'm totally willing to celebrate on behalf of you too! Share away!