It's Just Sleeping...

So it's been a while since I last posted. As far as I'm concerned, this blog is going to sleep for a good long while. My life has completely turned upside-down, and church/God/religion has really taken a back seat to the rest of my life; so I feel that this blog is not what I need any more. But I will keep it up because I don't see the point in deleting it.
I guess I should inform my few readers (who don't already know) what is going on. My husband and I have filed for divorce. The details are not too complicated, but it is definitely for the best.
If I start writing again, I will hopefully make a new blog that will be a bit more personal. For now I need to focus on myself, what I'm feeling, and not worry about posting on any blogs for a while.
I will miss writing, so as soon as I make a new blog, I will put up a new post with the new blog address on it.
So check back here every so often, because I would suspect that I will get the blogging itch within a few months. I already have it now, but the time and energy it takes to even think about blogging gets lost in the rest of what's going on. As soon as things settle down, I will be able to focus on more than getting through all of this.
But I'm still reading blogs, so I will definitely comment on those blog-readers whose blogs I read as well! :-)
See you all in a few months!

Who I am as a Blogger

Okay, so I haven't been blogging as much as I wish I did; and I rediscovered today how much I wish I was a lot wittier than I am and that this blog really doesn't express who I really am. I have things that go through my head constantly that I'd love to blog about, but then I know that my entire immediate family reads this blog, and who knows if my in-laws do to... I have things I want to vent about, to say, or to just verbally vomit (thank you Bridget Jones!) but my reader database limits that. I don't want to offend someone or hurt their feelings, because I've done this before through this blog, and it was heartbreaking. I want to express what I'm thinking, but I also don't want to hurt those I'm thinking about. I've also grown my google-reader to include some really funny, snotty, and interesting people; many of whom use the word... (shall I use it on my blog too?)... fuck... A LOT! It's not a crude or unintelligent way they use it. They use it when no other word will truly express what they're thinking. I tend to think of myself as an open book, unafraid of what people think, and real. I hate fake people and I refuse to be one. But I also don't feel like I'm being real here. Yes, I say what's annoying be about church and my friends, but that's only a part of who I am. I want to gripe about when my husband is being a dumb-ass (I love you, Michael!), or when my MIL is driving me insane, or when the stress of my family is just getting to be too much. I started a private blog that I use more like a journal, but I only seem to write on it when I'm extremely pissed, which isn't that often or that interesting. I want to be interesting. I want to show my true self and express myself in an honest way. So I just don't know what to do with this blog. Do I stop writing on this one and make a new one that I can write freely on (but then the same problem arises...)? Do I start an anonymous blog and write on that? GAH! I don't know! But I know where my blog currently is and who I currently am are not mixing well... I'll keep you posted.
Oh, and a side note, I just joined twitter... I know, I know, I finally caved... so come follow me and I'll follow you!

Boredom Results in Blogging

Yeah, you know how I said I was busy at work... well, today is not one of those days. I don't know why I didn't ask for the day off. This day is absolutely miserable! At the beginning of the day, there were only 12 people, including myself, in the office (there are usually 25). And right now there are 5... And my boss is gone so I can't ask to close down the doors and leave early. I feel like I should take Monday off just to make up for having to be here all day today. But it's days like this that I realize I could never work as a receptionist/admin. assistant my entire life. Because this isn't the first time I've had to stay all freaking day when everyone else is allowed to go home. And if I did this as my career, I would be stuck having days like this the rest of my life! And it's also days like this that I end up blogging like crazy because I have run out of things to do-- I have read everything, looked up everything, and even re-read things. I get desperate and I can't think of anything else to do!
This was a useless post, but I feel a bit annoyed that people seem to forget about me and don't consider that when there are 5 people in the office, there's no point in having our doors open (oh, and did I mention the phone has rang a total of 3 times today, and one was a wrong number... yeah, that's been my day...) and that I really don't have anything to do on days like today. Everyone else is salary and being there just in case the phone rings a 4th time is not on their priority list. So they can leave whenever they darn well please. Yeah... I could never do this as a career...

Blog Comment Day

It's a strange coincidence that just after I admit feeling anxiety (in the comment section of my own blog) about commenting on other people's blogs, John Smulo posted this idea about Blog Comment Day. Go to his site and see why he's doing it, let him know if you're going to participate! (I'm going to be posting on there for the first time... it's a good first step!)
This special day for commenting, weirdly enough, gives me just enough courage to venture out and comment on people's blogs that I read and love, but never comment... but now I have to choose which blog I'll grace my presence with! So go and comment away to 5 blogs (2 you've never commented on before)! And leave some love here in the meantime ;-)

New Direction

I think I figured it out. Because I want a balance, but also don't want to put myself in a box, I'm going to end up writing about whatever I darn well please. So for those of you who read my blog, I'm going to keep it up and just change my tone a bit. I'll write about life, about family, about church, and maybe some random tid-bit here and there. If something spiritual and religious is on my mind, I'll write about that; and if I'm trying to process interacting with my in-laws, I'll write about that... So be patient with me as I venture forth on this new blog journey and hopefully great things will come of it! So stay tuned ;-)

The Case of the Blog Identity Crisis

I'm having an identity crisis. I started this blog because I had so many ideas and thoughts running through my head and I wanted to share them and process them here. I wrote about life, and about church, the Bible, Christians, and theology. But as my life has calmed down a bit more and become a bit more routine, I find that I have less to blog about. This may be because of less material and not being around people who question things and make me think (actually, I'm pretty sure that's a huge part), but it may be that my life has changed and I'm in a different place than I was when I started this blog.
But what do I do? I don't want to solely write about "Christian-y" things, but I also don't want to just write about my life-- I don't do that much that anyone (including myself) would want to read about. The first post would be this: "I sat at work today. I didn't do much. Mark told me he is running checks on Wednesday. I got a free water bottle. Michael picked me up to go to my parents' for dinner. The end."
Do things change when you have children, because you can speak on your child and how you raise them? I thought getting married would create more to talk about with marriage philosophy but I find that I read more about what other people think than I do any personal processing. I know where I stand, so I don't have much to process about. I don't feel conflict about it-- I actually read more and get more emotion evoked by others who are in the more traditional camp. But I don't want this blog to be all about bashing others' views and pointing out why I disagree with others. That just sounds boring. If it's applicable to something in my current situation, I might talk about it, but it definitely can't be my focus. I don't have kids, so that's out of the question. I have a niece, but we don't see her that often, and I also don't think anyone wants to hear about my thoughts on someone else's kid...
So I'm here with no motivation and no clear direction. Has blogging for me come to an end? I know of maybe two or three people who read my blog who aren't related to me (and even the ones related to me aren't avid readers). But is a large audience my focus? Why even blog in the first place?
So I guess this is my explanation as to why my blogs lately have seemed to lack "oomph" and passion... because I don't know what passion I have to give. I will be thinking about this more and maybe even trying out a new way/reason to blog, or just write when something is on my mind. I really don't know. But I know that blogging has led me to "meet" new people, interact with them and get to know them, as well as really process how I'm feeling/thinking about something, or just sharing what's on my heart. So, those of you who do read my blog, bear with me and I will soon figure this all out. (And a big thanks to those who do read and comment-- it really means a lot to me. And if you're a reader and have never commented, please, let me know you're there-- I'd love to get to know you!)
Thanks for the patience!

Pictures Are Removed

This may be a useless post, but I thought I'd post it anyway. I went through and deleted any pictures from my blogs that were not my own pictures. Which means I republished my posts. So I don't know if anyone even reads my blogs on a blog-reader or if they will show up as unread/new posts, but if you do use the blog-reader and they do show up as new, just mark them all as read; unless you want read them all, of course :-) That's all for now!

Who Eats Horse, Honestly?

I found this post through epicurious.com's blog. If you're interested in food at all, it's fun to do! (I can't do strike-through so italics is how I will indicate "I would never eat")
I tend to be a pretty open eater, willing to try anything once, but some things just push my limits... and if I happen to be offered whole insects, I just might eat it just to say I did... Oh, and I had to look up a lot of them, so don't feel shy about looking it up on google or in wikipedia!
And I tag anyone who wants to participate. I only got 29... I guess I'm not as much of a foodie as I thought...

Here’s what I want you to do:

1) Copy this list into your blog or journal, including these instructions.
2) Bold all the items you’ve eaten.
3) Cross out any items that you would never consider eating.
4) Optional extra: Post a comment at www.verygoodtaste.co.uk linking to your results.

The VGT Omnivore’s Hundred:

1. Venison
2. Nettle tea
3. Huevos rancheros
4. Steak tartare
5. Crocodile
6. Black pudding
7. Cheese fondue
8. Carp
9. Borscht
10. Baba ghanoush
11. Calamari
12. Pho
13. PB&J sandwich
14. Aloo gobi
15. Hot dog from a street cart-- I was young, I would NEVER do that now!
16. Epoisses
17. Black truffle
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes -- Michael and I were actually just talking about making peach wine... except it is really complicated to make!
19. Steamed pork buns
20. Pistachio ice cream
21. Heirloom tomatoes
22. Fresh wild berries
23. Foie gras
24. Rice and beans
25. Brawn, or head cheese -- have you seen what this looks like?? And just the name alone...
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper
27. Dulce de leche
28. Oysters
29. Baklava
30. Bagna cauda
31. Wasabi peas
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl
33. Salted lassi
34. Sauerkraut
35. Root beer float
36. Cognac with a fat cigar
37. Clotted cream tea
38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O -- as another poster said, how can you go through college without trying this at least once?
39. Gumbo
40. Oxtail
41. Curried goat -- This one's a maybe... I like curry but I'm not sure how I feel about goat...
42. Whole insects
43. Phaal
44. Goat’s milk
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more-- if someone offered it to me, I'd never spend my own money on it!
46. Fugu
47. Chicken tikka masala
48. Eel
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut -- it was even fresh and hot!
50. Sea urchin
51. Prickly pear
52. Umeboshi
53. Abalone
54. Paneer
55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal-- again, when I was younger...
56. Spaetzle
57. Dirty gin martini -- a sip, cuz I don't like gin
58. Beer above 8% ABV-- also a sip because I'm not a huge fan of beer
59. Poutine
60. Carob chips
61. S’mores -- more than I can count!
62. Sweetbreads
63. Kaolin -- the only thing I could find is that this is clay used in paper and plastics... am I missing something?
64. Currywurst
65. Durian
66. Frogs’ legs
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake
68. Haggis
69. Fried plantain
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette
71. Gazpacho
72. Caviar and blini
73. Louche absinthe (isn't that illegal?)
74. Gjetost, or brunost
75. Roadkill -- that just makes me want to vomit thinking about it
76. Baijiu
77. Hostess Fruit Pie
78. Snail
79. Lapsang souchong
80. Bellini -- well, I hadn't before, but with all these peaches, I guess I'll just have to make this!
81. Tom yum
82. Eggs Benedict -- smoked salmon eggs benedict--- DELICIOUS!
83. Pocky
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant.
85. Kobe beef
86. Hare
87. Goulash
88. Flowers
89. Horse -- who eats horses, really?
90. Criollo chocolate
91. Spam -- never tried it, but did carry it around in an obstacle course...
92. Soft shell crab
93. Rose harissa
94. Catfish
95. Mole poblano
96. Bagel and lox
97. Lobster Thermidor
98. Polenta -- definitely not one of my favorites...
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
100. Snake-- YUCK! I can't even stand looking at them, let alone eating them!

Well, that's all folks! How many have you eaten?

Shhh... I'm Supposed to be Job Searching

My blog has been pretty quiet for a while, which is surprising, seeing as I don't have a job so I sit at home most every day... but it's been filled with searching for jobs and meeting with friends to try to alleviate the mundane routine of job-searching. So I'm on here cuz I have had ideas floating around in my head and I want to get them out here... so I'm pausing for a second to take a break and write a few thoughts down. I've had some leads on jobs, so that's at least not too discouraging (as long as I don't think about it for too long that is!). Anyway, that's my preface to the blogs I'm going to write...

Moving = no internet or sanity

Why is it that every time my computer (or internet) isn't working is when I have all of my great ideas for posts? Well, for those of you who read my blog, I am currently without internet so I will be posting a few soon. I never have enough time (or should even be on here) to sit and write posts when I'm not at home with my own computer. I just moved, so that is the cause of no internet, and currently I am just thankful I didn't end up in an insane asylum after a meltdown over it. So needless to say, I really hate moving and the thought of ever having to do it again really puts me in a state of panic! Thankfully that won't be for a while. So stay tuned, cuz there's more coming soon...

BAA (Blog Addiction Anonymous)

74%How Addicted to Blogging Are You?

Free Online Dating from Mingle²

What about you??

Guest Blog- Back from the Future

Well, I have officially guest-blogged on someone else's site! Thanks to Paul for his help and Jason for letting me do so! Go check out my thoughts on Jason Clark's blog!! So the question is: Can you live in the moment?

What name do you give God?

Some very thought-provoking ideas are discussed on Michael's blog. It really makes you think about how we worship our God, especially how we identify Him. Go check it out! Leave a comment (show some love) if you feel the urge ;-)

Day of Silence on April 30th

This day of silence will be on April 30th... spread the word!

Stupid and Addictive Red Dots

I'm in a writing mood! I just thought I'd admit to the world how shallow I am when it comes to my blog. No, I'm not shallow about what I write, but about that stupid map at the top of the page! For a while, I was having a close competition with my boyfriend about who had more viewings... sad, I know! But then he got busy and stopped writing so the competition wasn't fun any more. But that didn't stop my obsession with knowing from what states and countries people are viewing my blog from! I have no idea why it's so facinating, but it is! I have some pretty cool locations, but I can't help but wish I had more! What is wrong with me? They're stupid red dots! I'm sure, deep down, I have a sense of jealousy that those people are there in exotic countries and I'm not. Oh well, at least I've admitted I have a problem... that's the first step, right?