Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Book Opinions

Okay, I need people's opinion on a couple of books.

First, in our young marrieds group, we started reading the book Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs (how do you pronounce that??). It sounds like a good enough book, it definitely sparked a good discussion in our group on Sunday, but something was always nagging at me. For one, it's printed by Focus on the Family-- and I'm more apt to disagree with a majority of the things they teach, but I let that slide. I also know nothing of the author and his views of life and marriage, and couldn't find anything online about it, but I still wasn't convinced. I was on guard, but nothing I was seeing or hearing was showing me that I would not enjoy and (especially) agree with the book. But then lo and behold, I was reading through my google reader and came upon a blog by Complegalitarian that stated this about the book:

I also encourage you to read Love and Respect because it is the complementarian book that has the most thorough discussion of domain-based authority. In fact, it is this discussion that convicted me. For example, Emerson points out that men and women tend to view careers very differently. Women typically view work outside the home as a choice, while men view it as a fundamental responsibility. (This thinking came through on Complegalitarian blog a couple of weeks ago, in Wayne's "what is a Christian feminist" post. Women wanted the right to choose whether they worked and the right to choose the military. Yet, none of them expressed a willingness to assume primary responsibility for supporting a family or defending their country.) Male authority in marriage follows logically from this responsibility to protect and provide. Of all the complementarian books that have attempted to answer the “why does God command me to submit to my husband when I know we’re equals” question, it is Emerson’s discussion of responsibility and authority that I found to be compelling.
I have to admit, that scares me a bit. I worry when someone is "convinced" about traditional ideas. I understand that people want to learn more about it, and it is a bit unfair of me because I try to "convince" others about egalitarianism. And the idea of "domain-based authority" just makes my skin crawl. But what the bigger issue is, is that I haven't read the book, nor have I bought it yet, but I don't want to buy a book that I am going to spend my time yelling at and wanting to throw across the room because of the things I disagree with (I've done that with "women's Bible study" books).
However, I can also see that the author may talk about more traditional ways of conducting marriage, but it's not the focus of the book... I just don't know what to think about it. Because I also resist strongly (and usually gets me into trouble) when people try to put me (and especially me as a woman) into a box and call it "all women." (And "all men" for that matter. Michael rarely fits into the "Christian man" box.)
Anyway, all that to say, I'm worried that this book will cause me and Michael to implode and have to be the "weirdos" because we don't agree with it. But if it's a subtle message, I think I might be able to handle it if the overall message is okay.... but is it? Please, anyone who's read it, tell me what it's like before I go out and buy it (and possibly end up burning it).

There is another opinion I need. My sister-in-law mentioned to me that she wants a good book on faith, spirituality, and dealing with life. I'm coming up short (ha-ha everyone laugh... cuz I'm short...) with ideas and I don't know what book to get her. She's not a big reader, so she doesn't need anything too theological or anything like that. She just needs something simple, encouraging, and educational. Any suggestions? Any books you have liked in the past (or present) that she might find something in? Please give me all the suggestions you can!

Thanks for everyone's help!

5 comments:

William Cooper said...

Two comments. It's all about quality and not quantity. Your place in cyberspace brings great quality!

But if you want to increase quantity, they key thing is to leave comments on other places in cyberspace and leave your website name. That will increase traffic.

Kate said...

Thanks for the encouragement :-) For some reason, I hesitate to comment on others blogs... it's probably my anxiety about what will people think of me, even though I will probably never meet them and who really cares what others think?? But thanks for the insight... and I must ask, how did you find my blog?

Alaska said...

I don't fit the L&R box either...
:)

Hey, have you considered The Shack? It's a good one for people who don't like to read normally, and, in my ever so humble opinion, certainly awakes a thirst in most reader's hearts for God.

(I know, I know, it's a controversial book...but did you listen to the interview with the author Paul Young over at Steve Brown Etc? WOW!)...

Enjoyed this post, and the other one about boxes. I can really relate.

Alaska said...

(Btw, couldn't resist adding that it's true what the first commenter said... Initially when blogging, you sort of have to market yourself...and the best and fastest way to do that is by leaving comments on other people's blogs that you like. Some of their readers then come over to check you out, and so on it goes.

It's nice, in that it helps you get a bit of "community."

It's not nice, in that it's a pain if your not so inclined. :)

I'm an extrovert, so it was never a problem for me...heh heh heh... But just know that once you get a little community, you don't really have to go leaving comments much after that.

Kate said...

Molly--
I think I currently am borrowing "The Shack" from my dad... but I have no idea where I set it. So I'll definitely pick it up (after I find it, of course ;-)
And thanks for the encouragement about posting on other sites as well. I'm sure I'll just have to get over my anxiety and just out myself out there and see what happens!

And to both of you, I really enjoy reading both of your blogs! Thanks for the encouragement and taking the time to read and comment!