Moving, Yet Again...

Michael and I are moving!! I'm so excited about it! We're moving about 15 minutes east of where we are now to an apartment complex. We've been living in a basement apartment. It gets a bit awkward because the landlord is the neighborhood pastor of our church... who is also Michael's boss. So tensions either about where we live or about his job have that added awkwardness of living underneath his boss/landlord. But we've enjoyed where we've lived but the time has come to move on. We couldn't have afforded anywhere else (besides my parents basement) when we first got married, so the apartment has definitely been a blessing. But we're both working now and can easily afford somewhere a bit bigger and a bit nicer. I think it's amazing that they have the opportunity to help people out by having apartments in their basement that they charge very little rent for (especially compared to what the apartments are worth in that neighborhood). I hope to do the same, some day down the road when we own our own house.
But as older posts have stated: I HATE MOVING! The thought of boxes and tape and labels and wrapping crap in newspaper and bubble-wrap makes my stomach churn and I feel nauseous. It helps that this moving experience isn't moving home to my parents, but to a new place that is nicer and symbolizing a new phase in our lives.
We move on Valentines Day, which I couldn't care less about moving on that "holiday" because I hate Valentines Day (don't get me started about why...). It's a great coincidence that we move in that day because I have a 3-day weekend because of Presidents Day that following Monday.
So we're starting to sort through our things and throw/give things away. The boxes have yet to come out from under the bed, because I just might have a full-blown panic attack at the sight of them... just kidding... no I'm not... I dread packing and moving, but hopefully this will be a positive experience that will overshadow past, traumatic experiences... hopefully...
And let's hope we like this place well enough that we will stay longer than a year and don't have to pack up and move all over again. It's my hope that the next time we move, we'll be moving into a house that we bought. But that's just my hope. Keep your fingers crossed for us!

I'm Wasting Away!

Okay, so I'm not really wasting away, but it sure felt like it last week. I was sick for 3 days straight and hardly ate anything at all. No calorie intake=weight loss... it's a simple equation but not ideal for me. Most people enjoy the benefit of losing a pound or more after being ill, but let me let you in on a little secret-- I can't afford to lose any weight, even a single pound! Wanna know why that is? Well, it's because, naturally (and at a healthy weight) I weigh about 95 pounds. I know, I know, I'm a shrimp! My sister gets jealous about my weight and I envy her for the 6 inches of height she has on me, so there you go.
But losing weight is scary for me, as strange as that sounds. I stay at the same weight all the time because I expel as many calories as I consume on a day-to-day basis so my weight never fluctuates. So when I lose any weight, I have the absolute hardest time gaining it back because I don't overeat-- it's just not part of the way I eat-- I don't snack, and I stop eating when I'm full as opposed to when my plate is clean (strangely enough, that is a concept a lot of people don't get or understand).
So, all that to say, when I lose weight I end up worrying about how I will gain that weight back, instead of the common fear of keeping the weight off. I already lost 5 pounds last year when, stupidly, I did a cleanse with our friends that made me lose 7 pounds in 6 days-- not healthy at all! (everyone else did it for a full 10 but I couldn't afford to!) I gained 2 pounds back (just because I was putting food in my system) but have yet to recover the other 5. And then I was sick last week and lost another 2 or 3. I think I gained those back, but our scale isn't very reliable so I'm not 100% sure.
I'm not anorexic by any means-- I LOVE to eat, I just don't overeat. I eat 3 meals a day, but my stomach gets full faster than most. I've been trying to eat junk food/fatty food but it ends up grossing me out and so the whole purpose of stuffing my face to gain weight is lost. I'm not unhealthy or underweight (I don't think a doctor would be concerned, since I am 4' 11 1/2" and just all-around small-statured) even though if I had those 5 pounds back, I'd probably feel (mentally) better.
Oh, and exercising just freaks me out. I know I could gain muscle weight, but even the likelihood that exercising would make me lose even an ounce of weight terrifies me! So I'm at a loss as to what to do. I could snack more (on healthy things, of course) and try to gain weight that way, but snacking fills my stomach and so I'm not as hungry when it's mealtime... vicious circle! So I guess I'm just on here to vent about my "opposite weight problem" and see if anyone has any ideas for me or a reassurance that I would gain weight if I exercised... anyone?

Boredom Results in Blogging

Yeah, you know how I said I was busy at work... well, today is not one of those days. I don't know why I didn't ask for the day off. This day is absolutely miserable! At the beginning of the day, there were only 12 people, including myself, in the office (there are usually 25). And right now there are 5... And my boss is gone so I can't ask to close down the doors and leave early. I feel like I should take Monday off just to make up for having to be here all day today. But it's days like this that I realize I could never work as a receptionist/admin. assistant my entire life. Because this isn't the first time I've had to stay all freaking day when everyone else is allowed to go home. And if I did this as my career, I would be stuck having days like this the rest of my life! And it's also days like this that I end up blogging like crazy because I have run out of things to do-- I have read everything, looked up everything, and even re-read things. I get desperate and I can't think of anything else to do!
This was a useless post, but I feel a bit annoyed that people seem to forget about me and don't consider that when there are 5 people in the office, there's no point in having our doors open (oh, and did I mention the phone has rang a total of 3 times today, and one was a wrong number... yeah, that's been my day...) and that I really don't have anything to do on days like today. Everyone else is salary and being there just in case the phone rings a 4th time is not on their priority list. So they can leave whenever they darn well please. Yeah... I could never do this as a career...

If Only She'd Take My Advice

**Removed because, well, you never know when someone will happen across your blog...**

The Resolutionless New Years

Happy new year! This year neither Michael nor I made resolutions. Instead, we made it a goal to try to better ourselves throughout the year and be better people at the end than we were at the beginning. As Michael said, there's no point in making a new year's resolution if you don't lead that kind of lifestyle to begin with. So this year we're going to be more generous, as well as more conscious of our spending. We want to love others as Christ loves them, and be deliberate in our actions. We have tried to that this last year, but want to be even more intentional and deliberate in our actions this year. We want it to become a lifestyle, not just a resolution that we make one day and break the next.
Oh, and just a side note, I must say I am a bit annoyed at the fact that it's been too warm that we couldn't go snowshoeing yesterday. We would have had to drive all the way up near the resorts, which we didn't want to do! Who would have thought I'd be annoyed by warm weather??

Christmas Happenings

It's been quiet here and it's all because, thankfully, I've been busy at work and then when I get home-- so it's left no time for blogging. Even Christmas weekend, blogging was the least of my worries (sleeping was at the top). But I wanted to share about my Christmas because it was the first Christmas being married so it changed everything!
It was a bit of a struggle to figure out how to make everyone happy and have Christmas be different. Because we've added a member to the family, and I no longer live at home, that right there changed the dynamics of Christmas. Another big difference was that we didn't go to church on Christmas eve. My parents no longer attend church, my sister goes to church in Fort Collins so doesn't know anyone at our church, and Michael and I really didn't care about going to church. We honestly didn't see the point in going to church when we could just as easily have a "service" at our own house in our pj's :-)
So Michael played some songs and I did a short reading and then our friends came over and we enjoyed their company and laughed really hard at not knowing how to sing at all! We sang "The Instrument Song" and to say it was a complete disaster would be an understatement! But it's not meant to be taken seriously, and it lived up to expectations.
We ended the night by me and Michael and my sister all sleeping in one room. I slept just fine throughout the night, but was woken up by giggles and whispers... at 6 freaking 30 in the morning! Michael and my sister were wide awake (my sister woke up at 1:30am wondering if it was time to get up yet and reluctantly went back to sleep) and discussing if it was time to get up... Oh, I forgot to mention my sister's almost 21 and Michael is 24-- I thought I was sharing a room with 5 year-olds! But their excitement made me that much more excited and we all wandered downstairs to look at our stockings.
I knit Michael's stocking, per tradition in my (mom's side) family. The thing was humongous! But Michael didn't mind! But I was really proud of myself for having completed it and being able to have his match everyone else's. (I think I'll knit ones for Michael's side of the family for next year...)
We then read the Christmas story, and my attempts at trying to have a discussion were shot down as Michael and my sister were too busy drooling at the presents under the tree. We opened stockings and presents and my sister captured an awesome picture of Michael when he opened one of his gifts (one of the best parts about him is that he is very enthusiastic with everything he does, so giving gifts (and good food) to him is always enjoyable!) He got me tickets to go see "Phantom of the Opera" which I had called him about early in the morning a few weeks ago to inform him that I wanted to go. So I was soooo excited when I opened that gift. My sister got me a much-needed purse and I got some more clothes for work. I believe I may have mentioned that I loathe shopping, so getting clothes is always an enjoyable occurrence as it means I don't have to go shop for those items!
We then headed over to Michael's family's house and I was in shock the whole time. I never realized how organized (and a bit OCD) my family is about how they do things, because Michael's family does things that just seem like chaos to me! Everyone opened all their presents at the same time, so I was too busy opening mine and trying to focus on Michael's mom's reaction to our gift that I missed his sister's and her husband's reactions to theirs... I felt completely overwhelmed and overly-stimulated. I'm sure I could handle it better next year because I know what to expect, but I was so caught off guard that I couldn't enjoy it. But I did get the pleasure of being drooled all over by my niece since she latched onto my wrist like a leech and wouldn't let go. Thankfully she doesn't have teeth (yet) so there was no biting involved!
Christmas as a whole was enjoyable and made for some great memories and new traditions. I'm sure it'll change slightly again next year, but this time I'll know what I'm in for.
So Merry (belated) Christmas everyone and have a happy and safe new year!

Needless Tears

I don't know what's wrong with me. I'll be blunt and tell you that I've been incredibly hormonal recently and it's starting to freak me out. How I've seen this is the fact that anything can set off a flood of tears, regardless if it is that big of a deal, or even worth crying over. I first noticed it when my husband told me he had seen the source of one of his Christmas presents by mistake, but wanted to let me know. Instead of just being bummed out, I sobbed. I'm not talking about one little tear-- I laid on the couch and sobbed. I was a mess. But it felt that devastating to me! And then last night I had had a bad day at work, but not bad enough to cry over, but I got home and couldn't stop crying. I even had to miss a dinner I was supposed to go to with Michael because I couldn't get control of it. And let's not forget about how I react to sad parts of movies or tv shows...
So all this to say, I'm a bit freaked out. I usually get a bit irritable during "that time of month," so all this crying is not normal and has lasted for a couple of weeks... What am I supposed to do? Just let the tears overtake me and have a good cry? I know Michael would vote against that because he can't handle me crying, but I don't know what else to do. I hate crying-- it makes me feel depressed (obviously) and I lose all motivation to do anything when I cry. So if something doesn't change soon... well, I don't know what I'm going to do. But thankfully Michael is loving and supportive and just hugs me and lets me cry into his chest. For now, that's the only thing I can do.
I hate crying, I hate not being in control of my emotions! If something is truly worth crying over, that's one thing, but crying over a spoiled Christmas present surprise, that's just ridiculous!

A Lesson Learned

I'm going to explain to the world why I am a total wimp.
Yesterday, I was measuring our ceiling to see how tall our Christmas tree could be, and I let our tape measure just fly back into the holder... well, I'm sure you can already see where this is going... the tape measure is metal, and therefore very sharp if flying at a high speed. It hit my finger, but at first I thought it just hit it, no big deal... then there was blood... and then there was panic... and then there was the mad dash for the sink to wash it under cold water, all the while trying not to pass out. Thankfully Michael was there (trying to stifle laughter) and held my hand under the water. I'm sure my face was white as a ghost, and all I could say was "I don't want stitches! I can't get stitches!"
As my sister and old roommate, Holly, can attest to, I don't handle blood very well-- especially not my own. I once cut my finger while cutting an onion and had to go into the bathroom because I felt woozy and turned really white... pathetic, I know.
But I have this overwhelming disgust for my own blood, as well as a paralyzing fear of going to the hospital for stitches. I'm sure it has something to do with the fact that the one time I did have to go to the hospital for stitches, I could feel the doctors putting them in, but they didn't believe me and kept going despite my protests (oh, and had to bring other nurses and whoever to hold me down because I was FREAKING OUT!). And no, it was not my imagination-- I couldn't even see it (I got them on my knee, so I was laying down) and all of a sudden felt this overwhelming, excruciating pain! Stupid doctors!
So that's my story from this weekend. And a word of advice: don't let the tape measure fly freely into the holder because danger awaits whoever dares do so...

The Church of Snowshoes

I'm bored with church. I have my issues with our church and church in general, but that's not the bone I have to pick today.
I'm bored and tired and just plain "over" church. It might just be the new focus that my church has, which I am definitely not their target audience, but it might also be that I've gone to church almost every single Sunday of my life... I don't feel like there's anything they can say or teach that would have me saying "wow! I never thought of that! My life is changed forever!" I feel disheartened that I can look at the series title and the "subtopics" of each week, and predict (with pretty close accuracy) what the overall message will be.
So what happens when you've been going to church for almost 23 years and it's all old news? I know that the gospel and Jesus and the Bible are always "alive" and can change lives, but I sure don't feel that way. I love God, I believe Jesus was born and died on the cross for the world's sins, and I believe the Bible is God's holy word; I also try to live my life loving people the way Jesus loved them and viewed "others" and "sinners," I tithe, I try to read my Bible regularly, I pray... so what else is new? I know I can learn new things, like Bible history/context, but that just becomes head knowledge.
The only thing drawing us to church is our young marrieds group... but even that is beginning to lack because we see the same people on Tuesday nights for our Bible study. Don't get me wrong, I love our friends, but I don't feel like we're connecting on the level that I desire. But I'm sure it just goes along with my overall feelings about church at the moment. So is there hope for next Saturday night, when Michael and I are in bed discussing whether or not to set our alarm for the next morning? I know church is about fellowship, but just going and sitting in the seats does not make any sort of fellowship-- there are hundreds of people who come to the same service I do, and I know about a dozen of them because they're in our young marrieds group-- there is no real sense of community or fellowship. I feel obligated to go because I'm a "Christian" (or as I like to say, Christ-follower) and church is just something you do.
So all this to say, you might not find me front and center at church for a while. We'll go occasionally, but Michael and I have created friendships that we can get fellowship out of, even if it's not in a building doing "church," so going on Sunday is not as much of a priority. And now that it's getting snowier, you're probably more apt to find us trekking up a mountain through the snow on our snowshoes with friends and some hot chocolate! I'd much rather spend my Sundays with good friends, surrounded by God's creation. That way, I won't be more entertained by a piece of candy than the "production" my church is putting on.

Blog Comment Day

It's a strange coincidence that just after I admit feeling anxiety (in the comment section of my own blog) about commenting on other people's blogs, John Smulo posted this idea about Blog Comment Day. Go to his site and see why he's doing it, let him know if you're going to participate! (I'm going to be posting on there for the first time... it's a good first step!)
This special day for commenting, weirdly enough, gives me just enough courage to venture out and comment on people's blogs that I read and love, but never comment... but now I have to choose which blog I'll grace my presence with! So go and comment away to 5 blogs (2 you've never commented on before)! And leave some love here in the meantime ;-)