Thursday, August 14, 2008

Where Have All the Men Gone?

I was going through the archive of my old blogs and found this one still as a draft. I don't know why I didn't publish it, so I thought now is as good of a time as ever:

(Note that this is back in October of '07.... although still an issue...) This last week at the young marrieds group at the church we attend when we are in Denver (I realize we are not married yet, but they let us join anyway!), we got into a discussion about the differences in how men and women relate to members of the same gender. Women tend to have no trouble at all making friends, finding a women's group to join, ladies get-togethers, etc. But when it comes to men, there seems to be a shortage of opportunities for them to meet other men. And with that, it is even more difficult to find guidance and direction and a mentor-type relationship with older men. I've heard that men's groups tend to always struggle in churches and men just don't seem to be interested in going to some get-together-- they'd just as soon sit on the couch and watch TV. And yet, in everything that I've heard, the men are desperate for male companionship. Women's company can only stretch so far. There's some level of understanding and interaction during sporting events that men just seem to understand more than women. And men need that kind of interaction. But where are these men who are wanting a friendship? Is it socially (culturally and at church) unacceptable for men to be vulnerable enough to open themselves up and ask for friendship from another man? Are men just too busy to have time for other men? Can men function alone, or just with their wives? I know that friendships can be formed between men when couples are friends with other couples, and that's great! But what about individual friendships? Ones that don't need their wives or other people as the catalyst to start them?

2 comments:

William Cooper said...

I have found the best place to meet friends has been a cigar club I joined. I know cigars - bad for you, etc. I recently relocated to Charlotte, NC and I have found this is a great place to meet folks. While I'm not a big smoker, when you are in a cigar lounge, you strike up some great conversations -etc. As for your post, my wife and I are outside the norm. She is the one having trouble making friends and I'm the social one. Kind of strange, but I do agree with the points you make!

Kate said...

LA Scene--
A cigar bar... interesting... I'll have to let my husband in on that idea!
I'm glad you've been able to make friends. I hope your wife finds some soon! I definitely know what it's like to be in her shoes!