Confrontation is Not Deadly
Confrontation. Not my favorite word, and definitely not, by any means, my favorite pass-time. So when it comes to dealing with people, I tend to completely avoid and get minor panic attacks at the mere thought of a "confrontation" with anyone!
Well, since it's too late to call my mom to have her praise me for my bold move tonight, I decided I'd write about it... lame, I know :-) But I had to tell someone! Most of you wont think it's a big deal and may even think I'm a big chicken (which I am) for not saying anything before. So here's the story... I have some roommates-- 4 to be exact-- and all girls. Makes for interesting times, that's for sure. Needless to say, I'm slightly afraid of 2 of them. They are completely intimidating. They're super nice to your face and I actually really enjoy hanging out with them... it's when you're not around them that's the problem and it becomes a passive-aggressive and super-tense-and-awkward time. Well, I have bit my tongue enough times when they do things that my tongue is bruised :-P Tonight, I finally got enough courage to talk to one of my roommates about one of the biggest issues I have with her! It was not a fun experience, but definitely needed and was actually productive. We both said what we needed to say, and we reconciled and it was over. No blood was drawn, no voices were raised... it was not the bloody battle I was envisioning. Confrontation is scary but definitely not deadly! That's just what I gotta keep telling myself. "It'll be okay, no one's going to freak out and hate me because I say something. They might even appreciate me talking to them!" I'm still working on confronting people and speaking my mind when I have something negative or hard to say. People want honesty and openness. I want it of other people so why can't I do it for them? It's going to be a long and painful process (panic-attacks... no fun!) but it will make me a better person in the end. Whew! I feel so relieved! Now all I have to do is get my heart rate down enough to go to bed.
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4 comments:
good for you! way to be brave.
I don't know anyone who doesn't get anxious over confrontation. I think, in a way, that's a good thing. It forces us to really think about it and make sure the confrontation is needed and that it isn't just something we need to work out ourselves. I know some people who seem to like confrontation and do it ALL THE TIME - they have ended up alienating friends because of it.
But you're right, in most cases, the ideas in our head about how it might be are far worse than the actual reality of it.
WAY TO GO!! I'm very proud of you for being afraid but doing it anyway. And thanks for not calling me at midnight :-)
From one whimp to another...nice job! ;-)
I am only good at confrontation when i am paid for it. Confronting roomies is never fun, but hey, you made it! Congrats.
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