Lars and the Real Girl

My favorite movies are the ones that have multiple layers and I can sit and discuss them for hours afterwards. Of course, the surface-level, pure-entertainment ones have their place too, but the deeper ones are my absolute favorite. I just discovered a new one this week called, Lars and the Real Girl with Ryan Gosling. It's a story of a man who wants companionship but fears intimacy so he orders a sex doll online named Bianca and treats her like his girlfriend. He never questions that she is "real" and even asks his brother and sister-in-law (SIL) if Bianca can stay in a spare room in their house, borrow his SIL's clothes, and even sets a place for her for dinner. It never shows that he uses Bianca for the true purpose of the doll, which emphasizes the point of his need for companionship. The best part of the movie is that the people in the town he lives in all embrace Bianca as a real woman and ask to have her work, volunteer at the hospital, and invite her to parties. Lars pushes her around in a wheelchair, and even takes her to the doctor when she's "sick." I highly recommend this movie if you like character-development movies! Here's the trailer if you want to watch it! (If this movie interests you and you don't want any spoilers, don't keep reading and watch it first...)

The reason I even mention this movie is that, as I said, it is a movie about connection and relationship. Lars creates this whole relationship in his mind that at points you forget that she is really just a doll sitting there doing nothing. Lars is awkward around others and hates being touched. Even at the urging of his SIL, he refuses to even have much interaction with them. But once Bianca comes into his life, he interacts with people more and becomes a bit more dynamic. He is lonely and reached out to someone who was like him-- secluded and quiet-- but through the whole process of the movie, realizes that it is the people around him who actually show they care about him and his well-being who matter most to him. They even come to Bianca's funeral! By being there for him and supporting him, even when he has an imaginary girlfriend, they show him a love that he was unable to understand before.
How much of our lives are like Lars'? We want to hide away and create our own fantasy world to live in because it's safer there. We shut people out because they have the potential to hurt us. But as Lars shows in the movie, even our fantasy world and "perfect companion" can hurt us and wound us. Lars created the perfect girlfriend and was the dictator of what happened and how Bianca was feeling; but she let him down, she got sick, and even refused a marriage proposal.
Reality seeps into every part of our lives, and will get to us no matter what. But when he learned to lean on those who were alive around him, they filled him with true joy and love. He had to open himself up to disappointment and hurt to get there, but he got there eventually.
Sometimes it takes "dating" a "doll" to get to a place where we can be open and vulnerable with others. With a doll, there really is no need to truly open up and be real and honest. But what a lonely life that is. There is no real interaction or connection. Yes, it can help you process things out-loud, but you never get anything back from the "doll." Understandably, it is a scary world out there when you have to actually interact with actual real, breathing people! But once you get over it, it makes living so much more beneficial and satisfying! So be like Lars and let your "doll" die so you can live life with those around you and be real with those who care about you.