Don't Shove 'Jim' Out the Door, Love Him Instead

The story I'm about to tell and comment on is almost 6 months old, but for some reason has been creeping into my thoughts lately, so I thought I would share it. It is a modern-day example of how Jesus calls us to love those who are not like us, and also showed me what ancient Pharisees may have been like.

It was supposed to be a surprise birthday party for me, but I saw the email about it so it was spoiled. This was fine, because, as a matter of fact, I'm not very into surprises. Don't get me wrong, I like presents, but to have something come up unexpectedly that everyone else knew about is not my idea of a good time. (Hence the look of terror on my face during our wedding when our officiant said "Katie doesn't know about this..." Thankfully it was just that Michael sang me a song, but still...)
Anyway, Michael invited a bunch of our friends, as well as a guy he knew from work. All of our friends were from church (like us), but Michael's friend, we'll call him Jim, was a little rougher around the edges (not like us).
Jim was the last person to arrive, already well on his way to being drunk, and sat around with the women who were on the chairs and couches. The men were sitting at the table playing cards. I don't mind talking to people who are different than me, but for some, if someone says something off-color, it makes them extremely uncomfortable. Unless it's offensive to me personally, I just shrug my shoulders and let it slide. He didn't make me feel uncomfortable, but did make the rest of the women squirm. Jim then moved over to where the men were and proceeded to "flex his wallet" and brag about how much money he had, how many women he'd "had" and that he had hookers waiting at his house... Not exactly our idea of a good time, so when he invited the guys to come over, they all declined.
As the evening progressed, more alcohol was consumed by everyone, tensions started running high. Men started getting possessive of their wives, and women started getting offended by Jim's lifestyle.
Finally, someone snapped. Jim was shoved out of our home by one of our guests. He was told he was unwelcome and offended everyone. [Disclaimer: We later dealt with this situation with our friends and it was resolved, so the disagreement over how this all was handled is not the purpose of this post.]
Michael and I disagreed with how our friend handled the situation, but that was not the biggest issue we had. Our issue was how "Pharisee-like" our friends' actions and attitudes were towards our guest. Jesus ate dinner and partied with "sinners" and the Pharisees did nothing but ridicule and judge.

Then Levi held a great banquet for Jesus at his house, and a large crowd of tax collectors and others were eating with them. But the Pharisees and the teachers of the law who belonged to their sect complained to his disciples, “Why do you eat and drink with tax collectors and ‘sinners’?”

Jesus answered them, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick.

I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.”
Luke 5: 29-32

Sounds vaguely familiar, doesn't it? We wanted to show Jim the love of Christ, that Christians aren't all stuffy and legalistic (everyone was drinking, for crying out loud!), but in the end, all he saw was a house full of stuffy, legalistic, judgmental Christians.
I was ashamed.
I was embarrassed.
I knew that this is not the first time a non-Christian had been shunned from a "Christian" gathering. We were prideful, he sleeps around... both are sins, and both sets of people need forgiveness. Just because we are Christians doesn't make us better than others-- it should humble us to a level to show others how that sin can be erased, not shoved in their face. These are the people Jesus called to love and befriend.
Yes, having Christian friends, people with similar views, morals, and lifestyle is important, but we also need to reach outside of our bubbles and befriend those who are "sick." Jesus didn't "witness" to Levi and the guests at the party-- he just sat back and enjoyed their company. I'm sure they cussed and drank too much and probably told a crass joke here and there, but Jesus didn't throw them out of the house, he didn't shame them for being themselves. He lived by example and loved them and told them they were worth someones while.
That's how we should live. We need to love the sick and the poor, even if the "poor" part is only in spirit, not in regards to a bank account. You can be respectful and tell someone that a joke they said or a story they told is offensive, and if you don't tell those kinds of jokes and show respect to everyone, your influence and your presence will make a difference. People notice those who are different from them, so stand out as a difference for love. Tell someone they're worth your time, your money, your food, and your listening ear. You never know what kind of valuable friendship you could gain from someone who doesn't look and act just like you.