Heroes of the Titanic

As I've mentioned in other blogs, I work at a residential treatment center for teens. I am officially a fill-in counselor so I have had the opportunity to work at the girls' house as well as the school and the boys' house. This last week I spent 3 days in a row helping at the boys house during the day. They were on their "summer break" where they don't go to school but still have to do something educational and/or recreational. On Wednesday, I had the honor of driving one of the minivans down to Denver to the Denver Museum of Nature and Science. We went to see an IMAX film that was about an expedition to the Titanic. The boys, of course, were bored stiff, but I thought it was pretty interesting. They not only talked about the ship, but the stories of the people on the ship-- the good and the bad. There was a man who will forever be remembered as the guy who didn't put enough lifeboats on the ship-- how's that for a legacy? But they also talked about the people who are considered heroic-- the telegraph operator, the musicians who played to keep people calm until the ship went down, the men who got as many people as they could on the lifeboats. The guy who was narrating (and on the expedition) said something pretty remarkable. He was talking about heroism and the people who were heroes vs. the people who took the fight or flight response and refused to go back to get more people on the lifeboats. He said "people as a whole are not heroic, it's the unique few who make heroes." (okay, that isn't a direct quote cuz I can't remember it exactly). But the point of it all was that in the last few hours/minutes of these people's lives, they were heroes-- and will be remembered forever as being such. What an awesome legacy to leave behind. The narrator said about one man, "2/3 of the people who survived have ____ [I can't remember his name] to thank for it." WHOA! That is awesome! What kind of legacy will you leave behind? What will people remember you for? Being stingy and a penny pincher that inevitably caused the unnecessary death of thousands? Or being the one who used his last few minutes of life to continually call for help and play music to help others stay calm?

I don't have a gazillion years of experience in anything!

I'm having a life-crisis. Now that moving is over (thank God!) I no longer have an excuse to not be thinking about and looking for a future job. And when I say job, I mean career. I graduate in December and I have yet to find any sort of direction in my life about what I want to do. Do I want to do this? Or that? Go here? Or there? The biggest issue is that I have no idea what I even want to do. I'm qualified to do social service stuff... and usually that requires a masters degree (ICK!) or a gazillion years of experience. I'm not even sure if I want to stay in that field. But if not, what do I do?? Anyone got a job they just want to hand to me and make this process a heck of a lot easier? No? Well, that's life. It's time to grow up. This is not what I thought it would be when I dreamed of being a "grown up."

Moving = no internet or sanity

Why is it that every time my computer (or internet) isn't working is when I have all of my great ideas for posts? Well, for those of you who read my blog, I am currently without internet so I will be posting a few soon. I never have enough time (or should even be on here) to sit and write posts when I'm not at home with my own computer. I just moved, so that is the cause of no internet, and currently I am just thankful I didn't end up in an insane asylum after a meltdown over it. So needless to say, I really hate moving and the thought of ever having to do it again really puts me in a state of panic! Thankfully that won't be for a while. So stay tuned, cuz there's more coming soon...

Love Your "Poor" Neighbor

I was reading Jesus Creed blog the other day and I really liked his quote in his blog post, Nothing Left for the Church to Do. It was about how we reach out to poor people when we live somewhere where there are no poor people. Jesus did not call us to love just the poor, but our neighbors-- we need to reach out and love people just for the sake of loving them. It's a great post, go read it! But enjoy reading my favorite part:

Jesus’ mission was to love God and to love others — and you can express this central motif of Jesus in a variety of ways — and only because Jesus expanded the meaning of “others” do the poor come into the picture. In other words, we love the poor not because they are poor but because we love them as Eikons of God (made in the image of God). We love the poor because they happen to be Eikons who are also our neighbors. We don’t have to make the poor our neighbors in order to love the other.

Because we love others we love the poor; loving the poor is not the only “other” we are called to love. We are called to love all others, including the poor, but not only the poor. Our mission is to love the other, whoever that might be.

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Loving without Prejudice-- Guest Blog

I was honored to write a new blog for Jason Clark's blog again! Check it out HERE. I wrote about how we need to look past our prejudices and love and get to know the people in our lives and community. Check it out and feel free to comment away!! :-)

8 hours really isn't that long

It's 6:50 and I'm really hungry. And my eyes are hurting, but thankfully I'm not fighting to keep them open. And the woman coming to take over is usually late... just my luck... Everyone's still in bed asleep, so that's always good. But I keep craving a cinnamon roll--mmmmmm I shouldn't be thinking about it cuz it's just making me hungrier (or is it more hungry?). I've survived my first overnight shift and except for the first little bump in the road, it went really well. Well, she should be here soon so I can go to bed. This is when I'm thankful my church doesn't start till 1:30pm! SLEEP! Good night, or should I say, good morning? :-)

Overnight Shift with Drug Addicts

I just wanted to inform everyone that I am amazing. (That came off egotistical, didn't it?) Anyway, I have managed to stay awake, not even nodding off, during my overnight shift at the place I work! I am quite proud of myself! I work at a residential treatment center for teenage girls (and sometimes at the boy's house). To sum up my job, I work with drug addicts and alcoholics-- makes for some interesting time.
At the beginning of my shift, I had a confrontation with one of the girls. It got me all worked up and I was completely intimidated! After I barely held my own and stood my ground, I went and sat back in my chair and a thought hit me: how am I possibly intimidated or afraid of these girls? They're teenagers, for one thing, and have the maturity-level and thought-capacity of 10 year olds (if not younger). I'm 21 and strong and lucid and I have the power... and yet I get extremely overwhelmed and flustered when they start yelling at me and cussing me out. But I can handle it, it just takes a few minutes for my heart rate to return to normal.
Other than that, my shift has gone well and I've only had to call the on-call twice. That's good for it being my first time by myself! Okay, I just had to get that off my chest. Every time I go upstairs to do bed checks, I pray that they're all in bed... I don't know what I'd do if someone went AWOL. Cry, probably. I got overwhelmed with a girl cussing at me-- AWOL is a whole different story! Anyway, it's 4:50am and I'm wide awake... this is strange... you start to hear things and jump a lot easier with sounds, even normal ones like a cough... and you also ramble on your blogs... (Oh, and I found that picture and it's totally me! That book is the book of assignments and I'm sure my eyes look like that; the only difference is I'm drinking iced tea...)

Are Diamonds a Girl's Best Friend or Man's Worst Enemy?

I was reading an article recently in the women's version of Relevant magazine (I'm drawing a blank on the name) and the article was about the conflict or "blood diamonds" that come out of Africa. The article did not make me aware of the issue-- I was already well aware of the issue, but it brought up a very interesting point. If everyone were to stop buying diamonds, what would it do to the African economy? That is their only real source of income in the country. Very interesting. But it must be weighed with the risk of people's live being at stake just to get those diamonds. It's not as simple as, what is more important: a nation's economy or people's lives because they are very intertwined. If an economy is suffering, the people are suffering, not just the one person; if someone is suffering for the diamonds, the economy is helped, which in turn helps more than just that one person. Kind of a dilemma, isn't it?
This issue has become a very important one since the presence of a diamond will soon (but not too soon) be on my hand. It has become more than a romantic issue, it has become a moral issue. Can I live with the knowledge that the diamond that sparkles on my finger has the possibility of having cost someone their life? I looked up the diamond market and it is a $60 billion industry (at least the figures I looked at). In the article I read, it said that only about 1% of the money that comes from the diamonds goes to fund conflict zones. Let's do the math... 1% of 60 billion is 60 million! Um... that's a lot. I had to do the math twice to make sure I did it right. $60 million is going to fund conflict zones-- no wonder there's such a problem! I can't imagine what I would do with $60 million-- buy a lot of guns and shoot people seems to be the answer to that question. I went into a diamond store at the mall in Fort Collins and asked them about their knowledge about conflict-free diamonds. The guy handed me a laminated piece of paper stating that the company claims it does not buy from sources that are known to fund conflict areas. Well, isn't that fine and dandy... but what about their sources source? And their source? Can they really trace their suppliers back that far? How can there be any guarantee? They can feel safe behind their 1% figure, but ignore what that really means (in case you forgot, it was $60 million).
So here is my answer to all of this: I don't think my not buying a diamond will devastate the African economy, so I will gladly and eagerly buy from a company that makes laboratory-made diamonds-- you can guarantee no one lost their lives or freedom to making those. I can admire the diamond on my hand a lot more knowing there isn't someone's blood behind it. (Also, it's a lot cheaper (and I mean a lot!) and really good quality!)
I am taking a stand against injustice. Even though the economy is supported by diamond exports, it is not worth it to support their economy when the risk is so high. Help support them in another way-- agriculture, building, etc. Employ the people and export goods that are handmade or at least grown in the country without slave labor. If we stop buying their diamonds, they will have to find some other way to support their people and their country, without it costing people their lives and freedom. I am doing what I feel is my duty and calling in this situation, and I do not look down or put down anyone who chooses to buy a diamond from a jewelry store. When i think about it, the injustice just makes that diamond a rock, and nothing more in my eyes. But that's my own conviction. I hope no one takes this issue lightly, but acts in their own accord and their own will in the decision of buying diamonds. Just don't forget the risk you are taking if you buy one from the store. And educate people about the problems as well, because a lot of times, people just don't know the problems that are going on. Talking and educating only made people smarter and more educated and knowledgable. So this is me teaching. I hope you took the time to listen.

Coming to terms with taking a "flying" leap of faith

So a question has been running through my mind the last month or so. As most of you know, I am contemplating moving to London in the very near future. As the time when it would be possible nears, I have started to question and doubt why I would. My biggest question has become: is going "just for the hell of it" a good enough reason to move across the ocean? I feel God calling me there, but I'm not at all certain why or when or for what greater purpose. It's an opportunity, is that good enough? I've researched places to work, organizations to be hired through, etc., and I have realized that it wouldn't be too difficult to find a job-- that would not be something that would hold me from going. But when I tell people why I'm leaving EVERYTHING behind, what do I say? Is "God's calling me there" enough as well? It seems like such a cliche, but it's true! And is the feeling that God is calling me there all that I need to start applying for visas and looking for houses? Or is there a time frame? Do I need to wait for God to write in the sky "GO!" before I move, or do I take his prompting and calling and pull as my writing in the sky? I wrote a post a while ago about when the future becomes the present and when we know when God isn't just putting something on our hearts, but actually telling us to get our asses off the couch and go... needless to say, I'm still struggling with this issue. I keep looking for signs, but I feel like that's all I see. Is that a sign in itself? My biggest fear is that I am hearing things wrong, or I am being too hasty in my actions. Well, that's what faith is all about, isn't it? I'm feeling more and more like I'll graduate in December and not too long after, I will on a plane with only my clothes and my passport and a visa (oh, and a husband!) and set out on the adventure of a lifetime! But we'll see... things can change in the blink of an eye! (the London Eye, that is ;-)