Yay! A New Place to Live!

We're all moved in! I took Friday off to finish packing and we had a huge group of people come help us move on Saturday into a new apartment across town (thanks everyone!). It's bigger, more spacious, and has more storage... oh, and did I mention it's bigger? It's actually not that much bigger, but when you compare it to the shoebox we were living in, it seems humongous! It's also something we can take pride in, make our own, and really get all we can out of it. The layout is way better, as well as having vaulted ceilings, so it feels a lot more open than it really is.
The weirdest thing, however, is that there are no ceiling lights in the living room or the bedroom... so we have to go buy floor-lamps so we can see when we walk into the dark rooms. I never thought to ask about needing lamps for actual function to see in a room, but I guess you learn something new every time you move!
We're really excited about our new place, and I hope we can have everyone over to see it! If I wasn't so weary of posting pictures of where I live online, I'd post some here. But unfortunately, I have security-issue-problems.
I had the day off yesterday so we were able to get a lot more unpacked and put away, and now all we have left is to put pictures up! I'm so excited for this new phase of life and hopefully we're happy enough where we are that the next time we move will be into a house we will buy... but we'll just have to wait and see.
Praise God for a wonderful new place to live!!

I Need More Than Feel-Good Answers

[I started writing this post last week, but have been adding to it little by little and it's finally finished... a week later...]

This last Tuesday was the first time in a long time that I went to a church/group/Bible study where I walked away still thinking about what we talked about… and am still thinking about. We have a weekly Bible study with 4 other couples who we are slowly but surely growing deeper with and connecting more with. This last Tuesday we discussed how to live a balanced life in this high-stress society. Michael and I both thought the discussion would end in about 5 minutes because the all we could think of to say were church-isms and feel-good answers—pray, just rest in God, etc. But those answers don’t really help when you feel up to your eyeballs in life’s chaos. Yes, there are ways to take time for yourself, but the core issue came down to what does it look like to take refuge in God and spend quality time with him when you really feel no desire to do so; no drive or pull to open your Bible or take a few minutes to pray (without falling asleep or your mind wandering). I think it’s hard to have been a Christian almost my entire life, so I’ve heard it all and seen it all, so nothing is really a new concept to me. I know what you’re “supposed” to do, but a quiet time where I sit and read my Bible for an hour every day is not going to help me grow. It’ll just make me feel bad when I don’t do it or don’t get anything out of it. I thrive off conversation, discussion, dissecting verses and context, bringing up different ideas, debating, etc. So how can I get that when I’m sitting by myself in my room, trying not to fall asleep, or take my entire lunch hour to read my Bible and feel like a legalistic Christian who’s making a point of using my time to relax and get out of the office to show the world I’m reading my Bible. Yes, I know I could use my lunch hour to read my Bible and pray, but as I said before, that bores me. But what about reading a book that is written about the Bible or about religion or something “Christian” that isn’t the Bible. I’m currently reading Everything Must Change by Brian McLaren (yes, I know I’m way behind the times) and it’s really speaking to what I’ve been feeling about the Christian church and how Christians view the world. If I’m finding purpose and seeing God in that book, is it the same as a traditional quiet time? I know reading another book can be a cop-out, but it also opens my eyes and my heart to things the Bible teaches and different ideas that people have—hence my desire for discussion and debate—I like new and different ideas, so reading really does that for me. Growing my knowledge, my understanding of the Bible and the world around me, and growing myself as a person seem like legitimate ways to grow closer to God. If I can have a healthy relationship with my friends, who God has blessed me with, I can fully appreciate and get out of that friendship what I need and want. I use what God has taught me through books and discussions to better myself and better others. Doesn’t that make more sense than just sitting down and opening up my Bible to a random verse on a random page? I’m continuing to really think/pray about this and figure out what I should do and what God would want from me as an individual. Hopefully this group will take me to a place that I can grow even more and I can find God in places I don’t expect.

Bible Study is Group Therapy

So last night wasn't the disaster Michael and I envisioned. And that's a good thing. We had discussions and people asked some really good, challenging questions. It helped me dig even deeper into what I believe about marriage, roles (or the lack thereof), and my understanding of our group. Another refreshing part of the night was that one of the women in the group spoke first about what she believes about marriage and it was like she had crawled into my brain and knew exactly what I thought and felt. I've struggled to find women friends who have a similar view of marriage and men and women in general. One other woman in our group is also the same way, just not as vocal about it-- and I couldn't be more excited about it. I actually found friends who think like I do and I feel kind of at a loss of what to do because it's been so long since I've been around people like that. I don't think marriage roles/no roles will the center of every discussion I have with these women, but it at least took me to a deeper understanding and appreciation for these women. When I get frustrated in my marriage about whatever, I can expect that they will understand my thinking of marriage and give me advice/comfort accordingly. I don't have to worry about hearing "just be more loving," "the Bible calls women to submit," etc. So I'm excited to grow deeper with these friends and grow as a group. As I said before, we had great questions and I think if we continue that, we can really grow and strengthen each other as individuals, as well as a group. So, thank you Jesus for not having last night be stressful and frustrating!
(Also, I'm really working on and getting better at speaking in a group and being able to articulate myself and my thoughts in a coherent sentence/statement. Who knew this group would be like group therapy as well??)

Let's Be Adults About This... Hopefully

I'm at it again. I currently find myself on the edge of impending doom... okay, it's not that dramatic, but it feels that horrifying. What I'm talking about is a "discussion" of roles of men and women in marriage... this time with people who have researched and are married so this is going to hit REALLY close to home when we disagree. We managed to get through a discussion/debate/what-have-you about abortion without anyone flying off the handle, but that seems so minor in comparison to a discussion about marriage. The roles and views of men and women strike people at their core-- the foundations of their marriage and how they conduct their lives. I have a feeling this will either end quickly because no one will want to get into it, or it's going to be a disaster. I really hope it's not a disaster AND I hope we don't just stay on the surface. But I fear that neither one is very preventable. Some people have short fuses and others say they get heated no matter what the topic is... grrreeeaaaatttt... Intense people dealing with an intense discussion. Hopefully I'll leave pleasantly surprised that people could be mature and we can go away with "we agree to disagree and we still like each other." But I'm older and viewing marriage from a much different perspective, so hopefully I can speak my point of view without being immature or condescending (I had issues with that the last time I had a "debate" about men and women and church/home).
The discussion of roles is a seemingly uncomplicated one, until you start researching for whatever side you're on, and you see how one belief about men and women has an impact on other areas of belief about men and women. I hope to learn something new tonight, as well as teach something. If nothing else, I hope we can all gain a respect for each others' marriages and/or come along side anyone who needs or wants help/encouragement.
Our group strives to be one of community and we're slowly but surely getting there. It's taken a while for people to open up and share what is really on their hearts and weighing on their minds. I want to live life with these people, and growing deeper and digging to the heart of issues is the only way we will get there. Oh, and time. I have to remember that deep relationships cannot develop overnight or even over a weekend.
Okay, I've processed enough about this. It's quite possible I will have more to say/process after the night is over. Wish me luck!