Men Don't Need a Chore Chart

Gender-role-reversal-- it's becoming more of a common occurrence for men to stay home to be househusbands, if not stay-at-home-dads. I read this blog recently that talked about an article he read and the comments that people (mostly women) left that reflect the feelings towards men who stay at home instead of work.
The responses he posted made me have the same reaction that he did. Women talked as if their husbands were 5 year old children who needed a chore-chart to make sure he completed everything, and if he didn't, to give him grace and understanding. I'm not sure if there are websites out there for stay at home moms where men are reading them and commenting about needing to communicate and have understanding. If there are, that's great, but I can assume they are few and far between. Women still fall under the stereotype that they intrinsically know how to keep a clean house, like doing housework, and are the only real ones who can do it the "right" way. Michael knows how to clean dishes-- he's not an idiot. He knows how to sweep, vacuum, wipe down counters-- he doesn't need me to stand over him and make sure he's doing it "right."
There was a website he linked to, http://www.parenteam.com/ . It is a support website for working mothers with stay-at-home-husbands. If a couple is needing support and a resource for the husband, then that's great. But it sure seems like it expresses more that men need help in understanding what to do (again, that women don't need that help).
As a bit of an experiment to see the difference in stay at home moms and stay at home dads. I searched "stay at home moms" I got a whole list of ways for moms to make money while at home, how much staying at home costs, and the very last listing on the first page was a website for resources, activities, etc for stay at home mom. However, when I typed in "stay at home dads" I got a whole list of articles, references, website devoted to stay at home dads, etc. Again, I'm seeing a big gap between what women should naturally do and what men need help doing. There was a link to a study researching stay at home dads and their psychological well-being. Are they doing that for women? Being "super-mom," I'm sure, takes a toll on some women-- working all day and having to come home and be the one in charge of the house--kids, cooking, cleaning, etc. I learned in one of my classes in college about what this phenomenon of women working and coming home to work again. It's called her second shift. And if she is also in school, it's called her third shift. That men aren't expected or encouraged to be the ones to stay home if the woman wants to work, it is kind of upsetting.
It's interesting the looks Michael and I get when we tell people I'm the one working and he's the one at home being a house-husband. It's "weird" to people. It shouldn't be! I know there is a shift, and I think that's great. It's becoming more common, which will make it less-weird to people, but it still has a long way to go. Men who stay home should stand up for themselves and not feel any less of a man for doing so. Most people, as I have learned, expect that a man is only home because he's unemployed, injured, or some other reason that he has to be-- not because he wants to or chooses to. Men have to fight others' perceptions of him staying home and why he is going so. If women are stay at home moms, no one questions it. No one asks why they're not working. They also know a lot more stay at home moms than stay at home dads, so it's even more difficult for men to find support from his peers.
I hope more men are willing to speak out about that they are just as capable as women in maintaining a household, caring for children, taking them to soccer practice, etc. I understand the need for resources because it's not as common for men to stay home, so they might feel lost. But I also think they should just do what comes naturally. If it's nice outside, take the kid to the park, if it's lunch time, feed the kid! If they honestly don't know what to do, it would be understandable if they sought the answer online or even through his wife. But men can learn to cook dinner-- even if they ruin it the first few times, no one started out cooking without making a mistake or two. We need to be giving men more credit than their getting, as well as needing to challenge men to rise up to the challenge and put their whole heart into it. Even if the man is unemployed and that's the reason he's home, take pride in it-- stay at home moms do! And don't treat couples/men/women any different if the woman is the one working and the man is at home. They're no different than anyone else. Michael is definitely no less of a man or a husband because he stays home-- it is actually truly a blessing because I don't have to worry about doing it all when I get home from work!

Promoting Religion

I'm at work, and as I've mentioned before, I read cnn.com like it's going out of style. They tend to be interesting stories, some evoking strong emotions out of me, as well as making me sit back and think. Thinking is what happened to me today. I was doing my regular reading-- clicking on each of the stories under the "Most Popular" link on the side, when a story came up that ended up taking me by surprise: "Islam subway ads cause stir in New York." The article talks about ads that Islamic group, Islamic Circle of North America, sponsored and now face resistance from people wanting the Metropolitan Transit Authority to reject the ads.
They claim that one of the head organizers of the campaign is a suspected terrorist, but the only court appearance he made was to be a character witness and has never been charged with being a co-conspirator. Maybe he is an Islamic extremist, I don't know, but just because he's behind the campaign, does that really mean something promoting (non-extremist) Islam should be banned? I realized that people's outrage over the ads made me discouraged.
I'm assuming that the people in the Islamic Circle of North America are not extremists or terrorists, but want to genuinely promote their religion. Although I will not be converting Islam, I can appreciate what they're trying to do. The ads show a phrase that is often misused in reference to Islam and state in the ad "You deserve to know." The group members want people to think about the words, to explore Islam, and, I'm assuming, convert.
It's not too different than Christianity. The question that kept going through my head while I was reading the article was "If these were Christians wanting to put up an ad, would they get this much resistance?" Christians want to promote their religion, as well as have extremists. They don't go out to other countries and blow them up, but there are people who consider themselves Christians and go and blow up abortion clinics. There are good and bad examples of people of every religion. I don't think the Metropolitan Transit Authority should ban the ads because it's not promoting terrorism or hatred, it is giving people something to think about and explore. I think it is courageous for the group to be so ambitious in choosing the location of their ads (on New York subways). The reason people are resisting the ads is the very reason the ads need to be put up-- people have stereotypes and assumptions about Islam and Muslims, and that's what feeds their resistance to the ads-- because they think Muslims are all terrorists/ extremists. I honestly hope the MTA does not reject the ads, unless there is a darn good reason to, not just because someone's anti-Islam.

As If I Needed Another Excuse to Eat

Happy National Caviar Day! I can assure you, I will not be celebrating this holiday, but I'm definitely looking forward to July 21, 23, 24... pretty much the rest of the month. On the blog, Epicurious.com: Editor's Blog I found this blog posted about national food days for the rest of the month. In case you needed any more excuses to celebrate with food, here's your chance. The blog links to a listing of the national food days for the entire year so you'll always have an excuse to celebrate!!

National Caviar Day July 18
National Daiquiri Day July 19
National Lollipop Day July 20
National Ice Cream Soda Day July 20
Fortune Cookie Day July 20
National Ice Cream Day July 21 <-- That's every single day, for me! :-)
National Junk Food Day July 21
National Penuche Fudge Day July 22
National Vanilla Ice Cream Day
July 23 National Tequila Day July 24
National Hot Fudge Sundae Day July 25
National Coffee Milkshake Day July 26
National Crème Brûlée Day July 27 <-- yummmm!
National Scotch Day July 27
National Milk Chocolate Day July 28
Cheese Sacrifice Purchase Day July 29*
National Cheesecake Day July 30
National Raspberry Cake Day July 31
Cotton Candy Day July 31
Jump for Jelly Beans Day July 31

*Cheese Sacrifice Purchase Day is the day you go out to buy cheese to sacrifice to the mouse traps to keep your house mouse-free. Or, as this guy did, you can sacrifice a cheese-man!

I'm a Superhero Addict!

As I'm sure the rest of the world is, I am SO excited to go see the new Batman movie, The Dark Knight. Ever since I went on imdb.com before the movie was even done and saw that Heath Ledger was the Joker, I wanted to go out and see it! I've been seeing reviews posted on news sites and have been so envious of the reviewers' jobs!
If you know me at all, you know that I don't tend to get excited about superhero movies, tv shows, or any sort of sci-fi show or movie. However, in the last week, I have become a total sci-fi/superhero nerd! As I said before, I can't wait to see Batman, but there's more. Michael and I don't have cable (we actually only have about 7 channels using bunny ears/antenna... we're so high-tech!) we don't really watch any tv except for the news in the morning while we're getting ready for the day. So to replace having to remember when shows are on, we rent the old seasons and watch them (or watch them online, like I did with LOST-- which I watched on my lunch breaks...). Well all this to say, Michael rented the show, Heroes on NBC. He had about 20 minutes left of an episode when I got home the other day and I sat and watched the rest with him-- I was totally and completely sucked in! It's about people with super-powers but I can't get enough of it!
I used to have my line-up of shows that I watched every week without fail (including in the summer-- Psych is one of the best shows out there!). But since we don't have cable and are usually busy during the week, I have lost interest in almost every show (LOST is the only exception) and I thought I was cured of my tv-show addiction... but here comes Heroes... ugh! It's sad and pathedic, but oh well, at least it's entertaining. Plus, Michael and I now watch it together so it's time we get to spend together!
Too bad I have to work so I can't be home watching Heroes.........

Does God Have a Wife?

I realized I haven't written anything very deep or thoughtful lately. I guess I feel uninspired or haven't found anything worth trying to digest and process on here.
Well, I have found something that has been puzzling me for a while. I'm reading a book called Jezebel by Lesley Hazleton. It's a non-fiction telling of the story of the interactions of Queen Jezebel, King Ahab, and Elijah from a historical perspective. When I first picked it up, I thought it was going to be a historical-fiction novel, but I have been pleasantly surprised by how interesting and informational it is. I'm not very knowledgeable of the Old Testament, and knew nothing of Jezebel, except that people use her name like a weapon; but I was never sure why. This book has already helped paint a picture of her influence on history, as well as who she and her husband were. I'll wait to recommend it (or not) when I finish it...
Anyway, the reason I'm writing this blog is because of something the author said and I cannot, for the life of me, figure out if it is true. Here is the passage from the book that has me puzzled:

"As Jezebel was yet to discover, Yahweh did indeed have a consort-- a lesser version of Astarte known as Asherah.
We know of her from ancient inscriptions calling down teh blessings of 'Yehweh and his Asherah' as well as from the Bible itself. In Jeremiah she is known as 'the queen of heaven,' and her image -- a stylized Tree of Life-- was placed beside the main alter in the temples of Yehweh." (pg. 43)

Is Asherah real? Is it a myth? Who is she? I found a few verses that talk about her:

Jeremiah 44:18

18But ever since we stopped burning incense to the Queen of Heaven and pouring out drink offerings to her, we have had nothing and have been perishing by sword and famine.”

Jeremiah 7:18

18The children gather wood, the fathers light the fire, and the women knead the dough and make cakes of bread for the Queen of Heaven. They pour out drink offerings to other gods to provoke me to anger.

Is she a superstition? Or is there such thing as a queen of heaven? Is there a female spirit up there with Jesus? Or is it humans trying to create a balance in their mind-- thinking that God needs a female counter-part since we, as humans, have males and females? I'm so confused by this! Because in Jeremiah 44:18 it sounds like she was taking offerings and helping to protect people... but then in (actually, it's first) it says they are provoking God by giving offerings to other gods. Does the Queen of Heaven qualify or is she with God so offerings to her count towards God as well? And if she really does exist, how come it's never been talked about? Why is shes never mentioned? What does/will that do to my faith? to others' faith? What kind of impact would it have if she does exist and churches start teaching about her and praising her like they do God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit? Is that even possible to happen? I have so many questions flying through my head!
I know I need to do some more research, but I'm surprised I've never heard of this before! If anyone has any sort of insight, please help me out!

"I'm Gonna Make You a Star!"

Michael has been involved in the worship at our church, which means he is also involved elsewhere in the service. So, for whatever reason, he was asked to help shoot a video for one of the services-- the sermon topic was why it isn't good to go throughout life alone. Well, Michael was a star! Everyone was laughing so hard! The guy who filmed it, James, did an awesome job editing the video and even put it up on youtube. Check out his other stuff here. He's actually pretty funny (but I have a pretty strange sense of humor so take my opinion with a grain of salt...) But here's the video. It's entertaining, to say the least.

Happy Belated Independence Day!

Happy (belated) 4th of July! This year was fun-- especially when you have smoked ribs, delicious potatoes, and fresh berry trifle to top off your night! We went to the Glendale fireworks, as is tradition, and they were as great as ever. I had invited friends to come along and had raved about how amazingly awesome these fireworks are... so I was a bit nervous that they would let me down... alas, they did not! We were literally right underneath them and they lasted for about 30 minutes! Thirty minutes of pure, mind-blowing, fire-power! And the end/finale, as my wonderful husband said, was like being inside a kaleidoscope! It was awesome! I love fireworks! I love friends, and family, and everything that goes into the 4th of July. But fireworks definitely make it even more worth while!
P.S. I also need to give a belated "shout-out" to my Marine boys. Some are getting out of the Marines for good in about a month, others are in Afghanistan, and others are just beginning! Thanks, guys, for everything you do! I love you all!